quarantine log week 6

No one told spring about everything being cancelled. All my flowers are popping and throwing color all over the yard.  We have many flowers here on the plantation.  My mom has given me several bulbs over the years, and G’s grandmother, “Granny Green” was huge on flowers.  She provided us with tons of cool flowers over the years before she passed away.  Bulbs are great for people like me who kind of suck at growing things.  Once you stick a bulb in the ground, you’re done.  You just forget about it for about 50 weeks, and then you get to enjoy it again (and remember where you planted it).

I’m feeling grateful that our quarantine happened in spring instead of winter.  Seeing things burst back to life has helped make this whole staying at home thing easier to bear. 

That’s probably worth explaining.  I am a hermit after all, (see the blog name) and staying at home is not that tough for me.  Each summer I revel in the fact that I spend most weeks rarely leaving my driveway.  I barricade myself in my studios or at least in the yard. I try to be as productive as possible.  But in the summer, I can still choose to interact with other people.  By the time May rolls around I’ve had a lot of student interaction, and my students have probably endured about as much of me as they can stand.  I may choose to have coffee with a friend, or we may have dinner with pals. Our family goes on vacation, and I watch other people from a distance.  It seems the key to my summer hermitage has to do with the regular rise and fall of the social tides.  I minimize social interactions during the summer to recharge for the nonstop interactions throughout the fall.  I get a small break for winter, and then I’m social all spring.  So again, by May, I’m ready for solitude.

But this spring was interrupted before I had my fill.  I don’t want to admit that I miss people.  That just seems like it goes against everything I am.  But here we are.  Confused.  Irritable.  Happy.  Living the spectrum of emotions daily.  One minute I’m in wide eyed wonder at the beauty of my dog’s nose, and the next minute I’m wishing I was hugging graduates as they leave our academic nest.  One minute I’m quietly watching the sun warm the front pasture and the next I’m fussing at my kid for not doing their schoolwork on time.

I want to get in my truck and get out, but then I feel bad about wanting to do that.  I don’t want to expose anyone to anything bad.  I don’t want my kids to touch a shopping cart handle and get sick, but I also don’t want to unknowingly spread any sickness to strangers.  So, we look for ways to get out without having to interact with others. 

As last weekend approached, we were told our governor had allowed the State Parks to reopen to visitors.  I get all my news second-hand for highly opinionated reasons that would be best discussed in-person over coffee.  But this news came from a trusted source who keeps me informed on the latest developments.  I decided we were going to have a mandatory hiking day on Saturday, so we made lunches and loaded the dogs into the truck. We drove to one of our favorite hiking State Parks.  As we neared the park entrance, I had a passing worry that maybe the park would be closed and wondered what my backup plan might be.  I didn’t really have one.  Sure enough, the gates were closed, and a sign was posted indicating the park would reopen in one week.  Ugh. 

A short time later we sat in the parking lot of a Walgreens while I did some quick research.  I found that the Swamp Rabbit Trail was probably open, and we steered in that direction.  This was not the nature walk I had hoped for initially, but we enjoyed it.  We followed the trail for a couple of miles through the town of Travelers Rest.  The kids liked walking through civilization and seeing people and their pets.  The dogs were just happy to be out of the house.  We made it back to the truck, then drove to a cool little ice cream shop nearby.  The shop was open, and no one was inside, so we avoided human contact again.  We picked up dinner to go, and soon we were back in “quarantine” at home.

The semester is ending soon.  Finals are upon us, and we’re all seeking some sort of closure on a weird semester.  We’re probably all hoping that our lives will return to normal, and that we’ll have a real summer.  I know the people in my house are.  Last summer didn’t turn out exactly how everyone planned, and I think we’re all a little nervous about this one being dented by the Corona stuff.  Here’s to hoping for less Zoom meetings and more time on the beach.

quarantine log week 5

A good 7 days after writing last week’s quarantine log, this is about the time I would be regretting cutting those bangs. 

It rained all day Sunday but the sun has been out every day since.  The birds are singing every morning as the sunlight spills over the tree tops and across the front yard.  The kids have been going outside every evening after dinner and we’ve been playing wiffle ball and swatting the swarming gnats before retreating to the safety of the front porch hammock.  The temperatures have swung pretty wide but each day has been warm enough for me to not regret wearing shorts.  I’ve had to throw a sweatshirt on a couple of days, but no complaints about that.  My run this morning was at about 38 degrees and it was almost perfect.

While last week felt gloomy and cursed, this week has felt a little more light and hopeful.  I’m totally ready to leave the house and be social again, but I’ve developed a list of tasks that need to be accomplished every day and that has helped to keep me busy and moving forward without falling into the pit of despair (shameless Princess Bride reference).

I mentioned some of those daily tasks last week but I don’t think I mentioned the art remixes I’ve been doing.  Several weeks ago one of my running friends from the Netherlands sent me a link to a museum encouraging their Instagram followers to spend their time in quarantine recreating famous works of art using only items they had with them in lockdown.  These were pretty funny as they featured costumes and props related to the toilet paper shortages and face masks. 

Our art department was looking for ways to engage our students from a distance and we put this challenge out to them as well.  That meant I had to do a couple of art remixes to give some examples and it turned out to be very fun.  I had to involve my kids in the making of costumes and props and they also had to help position me and take the photos.  I have a healthy sense of humor and a low threshold of shame which apparently is a great combination when it comes to doing things like this.

I started posting them on Instagram and some of them were reposted enough that they sort of took off and got hundreds of likes.  Many of my friends commented on them and said the images made them laugh.  That was the inspiration I needed to attempt to recreate a new one every day.  Now each day holds a new creative problem to solve and this engages my mind in a challenging way.  I’m limited to what I have around the house and the time I have left in each day after doing school and managing my other creative outlets.  It’s been a fun thing to do and honestly, it’s been a welcome distraction for me.

Beyond that, I know that everyone’s screen time is up during quarantine.  I also know that many of us experience a broad spectrum of emotions and moods during a regular quarantine day.  Most days there’s at least a small period of time where I find myself very irritable for no apparent reason.  During those times, I appreciate a kind word from a friend or a laugh delivered by the internet.  There may be some who would say I get obsessed with things like this and maybe I don’t have to do it every single day.  Those people would be the unfortunate souls who have been stuck in this house with me for the last 5 weeks.  But don’t worry, I’m very stubborn.  I’ll go until I get bored or run out of ideas.

On Thursday we heard that our state public boat ramps were going to reopen.  Violet and I immediately started talking about going kayaking.  We figured this was something we could do while still being safe and thoughtful to our fellow humans.  And we really, really needed to get out of the house. 

Violet in the front seat

Saturday morning she was up before me, dressed and ready to go.  She was so excited.  We drove to our nearest lake and paddled around for a couple of hours.  The weather was perfect.  We saw ducks, geese, turtles, herons, and hawks.  It was so great to be out in the sun.  On the lake there was no hint of pandemic.  It was a brief reminder that the world keeps on spinning and we, like the animals, are just passing through.

quarantine log week 4

How are y’all doing? 

If I had hair, yesterday I would have probably cut my own bangs.  Does that tell you anything about how things are here?

It’s week 4 of self-quarantine.  Everyone here is healthy.  We’ve probably dodged our first exposure to the plague.  School stuff is rolling on, and that at least helps me to keep track of the weekdays.  I’m having critiques, grading projects, and trying to find ways to entertain my friends through Instagram each day. 

The plague is set to hang out for another few weeks, and that has me feeling down.  I was not thrilled with leaving campus and switching to online learning.  I was really not thrilled with the cancellation of all of our fun spring school events.  I was deeply not thrilled to have to move the Sand Sculpture trip to the fall.  This week we lost our annual early summer family vacation week at the beach, and that may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.  After the camel’s back was broken, COVID-19 stepped in to beat the camel to death with a big stick when the hospital sent G home with an 8 week furlough. 

We’re both a little angry about this, and I realize we’re both also taking it personally.  It’s really hard not to do that.  She’s been a faithful employee of this particular hospital for 27 years. For 27 years, in the midst of southern snows and terrible ice storms, she’s been told that she’s essential to daily operations. That she should report to work no matter what.  For the last few years she’s been in a position that calls for her to be on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  That seems pretty essential to me.  It certainly feels that way when she has field calls, emails, and text messages at all hours and on family vacations.  But now with the hospital reeling financially because of the virus, suddenly she’s seen as a way to cut spending.  Not cool.  That’s not how I would treat an employee.  However, we can drop that in the file of “Things Beyond Our Control,” and get over it I guess.  Not a lot of other choices.   

You know how once you’re irritated at something, every little thing seems to irritate you?  At least 143 times this week I’ve opened the cabinet door to throw something away and discovered the trash piled up 6 feet above the top of the trash can.  And for there to be so much trash in and around that trash can, it’s amazing how many empty wrappers and napkins I seem to find placed randomly through the house.  Apparently when we finish using something the only option is to leave that thing right where we finished using it.  I counted 7 pairs of shoes with no humans in them scattered across the house walking to my computer moments ago.  Clearly I need to get outside for a while.

So how do we stay sane and not make our families hate us during this quarantine?  Well, here’s what I’m choosing to do:

Every morning I get up and run before I speak to anyone.  This lessens the chances I’ll say something devastatingly cruel to them.  For about 25 minutes I run on the trail alone with my thoughts.  I pray and plan.  I can’t describe just how much this helps me mentally and emotionally every single day.  If you don’t hate me, this 25 minutes is why.

Some mornings I’m following up that run with a PiYo workout.  But every morning the run is followed by a big cup of the best coffee you’ve never had.  You’ve never had it because I make it here at my house.  It’s really a religious experience and I don’t even mean that as a joke.  There’s a liturgy in the process of grinding the beans, tamping the grounds in the holder, warming up the machine, steaming the milk, and stirring the white steamed milk and the brown coffee foam into a swirl.  Then there’s that first sip. Oh my goodness. It touches my soul. 

All this is time I’m alone, but in addition to this, I take some time to myself every day.  If I must, I walk around outside.  I work in the basement studio on 3D projects.  I’ve also been lucky enough to spend time each day in my drawing studio.  Sometimes I sit in the silence of the studio and listen to the sleeping dog breathe.  Sometimes I listen to a podcast or some music.  But generally speaking, I’m by myself on my tiny hermit island at these times.

I also practice absurdity.  God help my kids because of my ridiculous ideas.  I may decide we’re going on a 4 mile backyard hike or we’ll take the dogs in the car for a 10 minute drive to the mailbox, which is only a 30 second drive to the actual mailbox and a 9 minute 30 second drive around the yard.  I’ve also been attempting to recreate famous works of art in and around the house.  The kids have both had to assist me in various ways. Both have been disgusted by the costumes I’ve had to wear for these photos.  They both complain a little when I drag them away from their screens and devices for these crazy exercises, but they both laugh a lot while we do it. 

And then there are the waffles.  Once each week we have a waffle morning. I get up and after that run and that first sip of coffee I’ll slap some fresh, hot waffles on plates, yelling for the kids.  My waffle creations are sweet, wonderful, and delicious.  They are love on a plate; a warm waffle covers a multitude of sins. 

I hope there are things you’re doing each day to help you through these strange weeks we’re enduring together, apart.  I hope you’re finding ways to connect with your friends and family.  I hope you’re emotionally and mentally well, and if you’re struggling at any point, send me a message.  I’m probably struggling too, and we can complain together.  Maybe I’ll mail you a waffle.