academic friendship

A few weeks ago, an education major asked me how I balance being friends my students and being a teacher to my students.  The question came about sort of naturally during a “podcast assignment” where the questions and my answers were being recorded.  My response was clumsy, in part, because it’s not something I think about consciously very often and , in part, because I knew my answer could easily become an essay.  Looks like we might be here today for the essay answer.

First of all, let’s address the semantics.  Am I “friends” with my students?  When I learned how to be an educator for K-12 certification 30 years ago, the idea of being friends with your students was pretty far-fetched.  That’s typically not a concern for K-12 teachers anyway, and with the much weirder headlines in the last 30 years, I’d say it’s not a good idea.  During college I had experiences with my professors in line with that way of thinking.

In the 1990s, we treated our professors like lower deities.  We addressed them by their titles, we always felt like we were intruding on their time if we went to their office/studio and we hung on every word they spoke.  We treated them with respect.  These were experts who had very important things they could be doing.  Students understood that they were blessed to be in the presence of such wisdom, experience and greatness.

The current academic environment is a consumer driven environment and one that is very different from my experience 30 years ago.  Schools now are providing a product, students are customers and professors are basically waitstaff.  Respect for professors is pretty much non-existent and all of this is further exacerbated by how this generation of students has been made to believe that anything worth learning should be entertaining and should be presented in segments no longer than 3 minutes at a time.  I’ve seriously had a student tell me he could learn sculpture from YouTube as he dismissed me completely.

The old idea of standing in front of a room of students and “professing” knowledge is outdated and ineffective.  Students expect a stunning presentation and teachers who fail to connect with them will most definitely lose them, or at least lose their attention.  

Over my years of teaching, I have learned the importance of personal connection as an educational tool.  I spend time asking questions and carefully observing my students so that I can figure out how to connect with them.  If I know what makes them feel challenged, what their interests are and where their point of frustration exists, I can put myself in a better position to help them grasp the course information.  This is a part of effective teaching most people outside of education do not understand and one that takes a great deal of extra effort.  If you look at the basic structure of that strategy; getting to know someone, learning about their interests, showing interest in them, working to help them…that basic structure also looks a lot like friendship.  

Friendship comes with care.  It feels a little lame to hedge on the use of the more accurate word here.  Let’s be bold and honest.  Friendship comes with LOVE.  Do I love my students?  Most definitely I do.  I don’t think about my salary very often, but I recently saw my annual salary on a tax return and I promise you that I would not be doing this job if I didn’t love my students very much.  So yeah, I love my students and I’m friends with them.  

I’m friends with most of them, at least.  I’ve had to learn to accept the fact that I’m not for everyone and I’m still trying to be ok with that.  Some students will not like my personality, teaching style or the fact that I’m a middle aged white guy and those students will gravitate towards a different personality on our teaching staff.  Does this hurt me deep down?  Heck yes.  Can I do anything about it?  Nope.  But the ones who do respond well, I do my best to be a friend to them.  And I do my best to love the ones who don’t, just the same.

Sometimes that means my students give me music and movie suggestions in the studio.  Sometimes that means we will have a conversation about current events or ask thought provoking questions to one another.  Sometimes it means we’ll have coffee together outside of class.  Sometimes it means we’ll gather in a group and get food after a gallery reception.  Sometimes it means they’ll come in my office and sit silently on their phone or computer for an hour.  Sometimes it just means we high five and speak when we see each other on campus.  Whatever the specifics may be from person to person, it’s still people who are choosing to spend their time together and to actively seek connection.  You know, friendship.

Here's a whole group of former students who I still call good friends.  Those friendships began in the studio, on the racquetball court, running 5Ks around campus and getting shakes at Cookout.  I know they wont see this because they only read really racy books, but I love them dearly.

It takes time and energy to love.  All of the duties listed and evaluated on my annual faculty review have to do with teaching, research and service.  I’m never asked about love or friendship and the amount of time and energy I put into that, even if it does factor into my teaching.  I never tell my Dean that I stayed three hours after class to go to a field hockey game because one of my sculptors is on the team.  I suppose that’s difficult to quantify and in the world of consumer academics, it may not be valued.  In my studio, however, it is essential.  (I also understand that it’s simply a part of how I teach effectively and it doesn’t really matter to me if it’s quantifiable to administrators.)

Now that we’ve established that I do have academic friendships and that I see those friendships as key factors in the success of my teaching, let’s get to the question I was asked.  How do I balance those with teaching?

Ugh.  The most accurate answer is “carefully”.  The “ugh” is necessary because friendship isn’t easy.  The answer is “carefully” because every single student is different and that means every single situation must be handled differently.  Some students are what I call volcanoes.  They are pleasant and wonderful right up until the eruption.  No warning, no change in facial expression or attitude, just total destruction in every direction.  Some students are like summer in the South.  You know exactly what to expect every day with almost no variation.  Some are a little more like a Southern Spring.  Ice cold at 8:00 am, thunderstorm at noon, 80 degrees and sunny at 3:00 pm.  The conditions change a lot, but it's all pretty manageable and predictable.  Some students rarely speak a word in the studio, some won’t shut up.  Some students work nonstop, some almost need to be physically forced to work at all.  Every personality type, every attitude, every demeanor is what I have to be prepared to engage with in the studio.  

Showing love to one student may involve a tactic that would be offensive to another student.  I can walk in and shout “Get to work slacker!” to one student and they’ll jump to action.  Saying that to another student would send them to the bathroom in tears.  I can joke and kid with one and I can absolutely never joke around with another one.  Some students need a challenge to become motivated.  Some students frustrate easily and a challenge will kill their motivation.  Some respond well to my high energy antics and some will cower in a corner until I calm down.  Teaching the way I do is not the path of least resistance.  It is probably the most difficult way to go about it.

In a practical sense, “carefully” means that I have to continually be switched on as a teacher.  My antenna always needs to be up and receiving cues related to facial expression, body language, energy shifts and verbal stimuli.  Some students come preloaded with family and friend histories that profoundly impact how they will interact with me.  Some are happy to be friends and they possess a maturity that will allow them to engage in a healthy way.  Others are skeptical and may only open up after you establish trust.  

I can hear you wondering how grades impact these friendships.  Here’s the thing that might be most surprising about it:  I would say not at all.  My job is to professionally assess the work my students do.  This assessment is not personal at all.  There are established criteria for each project and I have always found the process of grading to be void of emotion.  It either is or it isn’t.  It either does or it doesn’t.  I am not grading the human, nor am I grading the friendship.  I’m grading a project.  I explain this process on syllabus day and I rarely need to revisit it.  I have students who will come to my office after seeing their C or D in Blackboard and they’ll say, “Yeah, I stunk that one up.  I promise I’m going to do better next time.”  Sometimes they do better and sometimes they do not.  I still give them a high five when I see them and I welcome them to sit and chat.  I’ve had students I’m academic friends with fail my class.  It happens.  I check in, see what I can do to help them, listen to their problems and then I’ll see them again the following semester in the same class.  

Here's my friend Armir.  He actually failed/withdrew from my class because, while I loved him, I wouldn't budge on attendance.  He respected that and took the class again later, passing it and many other upper level classes with me.  Armir is the founder of "Coffee With McAbee" and I love him so much.  

Many of my students over the years have learned that being my pal doesn’t mean they get any grace or good grades.  Many of those students, though, have allowed that academic friendship to propel them forward in their work.  My very high expectations and words of scolding may be taken more seriously because we’ve established that I actually care about the student.  I’m not just a teacher telling them I expect more, I’m a trusted friend telling them I expect more.  More often than not, students rise to my expectations and I have no doubt that my level of care and love for them is a factor.  

Remember when MoLo got so mad at me in the studio, she walked out and slammed the door?  Remember when I followed and yelled something down the hall at her as she left?  Good times.  We apologized to each other and not only are we friends, she texted out of the blue last week.  MoLo is the reason there's always a working Dremel in the studio.  I love her.

The thing that makes balance interesting is when it doesn’t work.  Right?  I mean, we watch a balancing act because there’s a chance we’ll see someone fall.  Sometimes students get mad at me.  Sometimes I get mad at students.  Sometimes we have to have a sit down conversation to get past it.  In a small department like ours, it’s not uncommon for me to hear that someone was talking crap about me to other students.  In those moments, I try to remember that I chose this strategy.  I remind myself that we all make mistakes and I try not to take it personally.  Besides, the other option is to protect my feelings and be a less effective teacher.  I'm not willing to do that.

Sometimes it does work and it works beautifully.  There are former students who keep in touch many years after graduation and those academic friendships have transitioned into just plain friendships.  I’ve gone to dinner parties, helped deliver artwork, helped move furniture, given career advice, approved significant others for dating and officiated a wedding for various students in the past.  Sometimes they’ll get nostalgic and remind me of something they learned in my class.  That’s when I remember how important it is to do the difficult thing.  There are easier ways to teach, but I guess I don’t always do the easy thing.  

the search for a nap

Not that you asked, but I had a great Spring Break.  Wanna hear about it?  Wanna see photos?

My first day of Spring Break started off with some good old fashioned manual labor.  Coming off of two days of plaster pouring with the freshman 3D Design classes, I could have used a no alarm morning and a nap.  Instead, I got up early and drove back to school for a full day of hard work.  

One of my upper level classes has taken on a public art project with the Ninety Six Neighborhood Mill Society.  We've been waiting for a while to get our laser cut designs in the studio and now that we have them, we need to do a lot of work.  These beasts are heavy (the pieces of steel, not the workers) and it takes all of our muscles to move them around.  These beasts are hard workers (the workers, not the steel) and we all got so much work done.

The next day, I could have used a no alarm morning and a nap, but instead, I had planned the Art Hike.  It's not so much of a choice when it was literally the only Saturday I had available when we made the plans.  

And when you have a gorgeous day with wonderful humans AND WALTER, you can't be mad about it.  I happily got up early and opted for an afternoon coffee with the gang instead of a nap.  It was a beautiful day in every way.  

Sunday, I could have REALLY used a no alarm morning and a nap.  I didn't get up too early, but I still had to set an alarm.  After my run, I loaded up 48 drawings into my Toyota and Violet and I drove them to Greenwood to deliver them for an exhibit.  When we got home that afternoon, I did, in fact, take a nice little nap.  

After my nap, I had a little porch time and allowed my mind to get still.  Now I was ready for Spring Break.

It's been a few years since I observed "The Spring Break Of Waffles" but I haven't been making a lot of waffles lately, so I decided to indulge a little.  Each weekday of Spring Break, I made a different type of McAbee waffle.  I may be a little thicker and now you know why.

The real news of Spring Break was the little guy with the very long nose.  My friend Wilbur came to visit for the week.  We have been pals a long time but I wasn't sure if he'd like my dogs.  I was pretty sure my dogs wouldn't like him.  Mine are attention whores and Wilbur would definitely get a lot of attention.  Luckily, my boys took to him pretty quickly and they got along great.

Walter may not have understood exactly why this little creature was in his house, but he was an absolute angel to Wilbur.  

Yes, I took selfies like a 12 year old girl but if you had Willie kissing you and licking your nose, you would too.  Monday and Tuesday were dedicated Wilbur watching days for me.  There would be no welding or grinding this Spring Break.  I was on high alert as a solo act until people got home at night.  I knew I couldn't just leave Willie inside alone with my dogs while I ran each morning, so I had to set a very early alarm each day so that I could be back inside before everyone left for school and work.  The cuteness was worth it.

Wednesday, Wilbur had a different watcher while I had some work to do.  I still had to get up early, but G was able to be home with Willie while I delivered and installed a public sculpture in Anderson.  

I've learned to make the most of these road trips and I'm a sucker for a good coffee.  Bonus points if the coffee is aesthetically pleasing.  I recommend the Common House in Anderson for both.  

You just can't beat an average hot dog served on a slip of paper.  Skins is not pretentious and you get exactly what you pay for.  Hey, at least the coffee was pretty!

While I was installing a sculpture, Blue was enjoying his Spring Break in Pigeon Forge, TN.  He was getting ready to head home and he spotted a couple of celebrities out shopping.  That's Chris and his wife from 1000 Pound Sisters, a show our family started watching ironically about a year ago.  Blue was so excited to see them.  

Back home, I resumed my Wilbur watch.  I should have quit school and gone into professional dog sitting.  I'm perfect for this career.  Wilbur and I got some TV time in each night.  I was able to finish Barry (highly recommend), I watched Mona Lisa Smile and I watched an Agatha Christie movie.  I tried to watch a couple of other movies but I lost interest pretty quickly.  Willie just slept.  

Some time during the week, Violet and I had dinner with some friends who roasted me about showing my nipples on Instagram.  I jokingly told them they'd never see my nipples again.  I'm on day 3 of trying to use the Austin Powers joke of hiding behind props.  I'm running out of natural props.  Related:  I ran every day and it's always one of the best parts of my day.

The Wilbur watching and the really nice weather gave us a lot of outside time.  We did some porch sitting and some sunshine walking.  These guys got along so well during the week and they loved their outside time.  There were three days of walking where we got at least a mile in.  

I did accomplish some creative things, but those were either not ready for public consumption or they were not very photogenic.  I customized two pair of shoes on commission and I put so many freakin' coats of paint on these three new sculptures.  The sculptures are still not done but if they do turn out, they'll be really cool.  

Wilbur went back home this afternoon and Sundays are usually my day to get ready planning for the upcoming week.  This means Spring Break is almost over.  I was able to be still for a bit and now we brace for the crazy marathon to graduation.  

 

back in my day, we didn't have iphones

My dad liked to sit on the porch.  Many years into his state retirement, he would get up, have his coffee and alternate his sitting/napping between the living room and the porch.  In the living room, it was obvious what he was “doing”.  The TV would be very loud and he’d be watching his favorite westerns between sessions of resting his eyes.  The porch puzzled me, though.  I would drive up, see him on the porch and ask him what he was doing.  He was smart and funny and he always had some creative response that never actually answered my question.  

On this first day of Spring Break, I’ve been enjoying a day of rest.  The last few weeks have been exhausting and I had things scheduled through Sunday.  I enjoyed a short after-lunch nap and then had a second coffee on the front porch.  I parked my phone on the table Sean gave me and watched the dogs settle in for some porch naps.  Several minutes passed, lost in thought and eventually I surfaced enough to realize I had been staring off into the distance for an unknown length of time.  I felt relaxed.  Calm.  Unbothered.  

I’ve been thinking about time like this recently.  Time I feel we, as a society, have lost.  Time spent, not being idle, but being still.

When I was very young, I remember our bathroom door.  Down the hallway, the first door to the left was the bathroom.  It was a long room with a countertop and a large mirror on one side and a shower on the other.  At the end of the countertop there was a sink and beside the sink was the toilet.  When I was a kid, the only time I can remember ever being still was on the toilet.  It was honestly a little torturous for me to stay there long enough to take care of business because time spent there meant time not spent playing and going 100 miles per hour.  

But in those moments of stillness, I remember the back of that door.  It was a hollow, interior wood door and the large, thin sheets of wood veneer featured the natural wood grain with light and dark markings spanning the entire plane.  As I sat there with my kid mind buzzing with activity, I would slow down long enough to get bored.  Looking back, I know realize it took me about 3 seconds to become bored.  In that boredom, my eyes would search for entertainment.  As I scanned the wood grain lines on the back of the door, my eyes noticed patterns and tried to create images from the lines and shapes.  I can still remember the image of a shrouded woman carrying a baby on her back.  Probably similar to an image I saw in one of my dad’s National Geographic magazines.  It was so abstract but I could easily find it every single time.  

I’m sure you’ve done this.  You’ve stared at the lines in the carpet until your eyes put some implied shapes together and created a face.  Then you blinked and you couldn’t find the same image again.  At the very least you’ve stared at the clouds and creatively made the puffy piles of moisture into dogs and dragons and elephants.  

There is a level of stillness of the body and mind that is required for this type of exercise to be possible.  Perhaps it is a level of stillness that we allow ourselves to experience less and less often in the age of constant phone entertainment.  Our eyes and brains are no longer starved for puzzles to solve.  Every second of boredom can be filled with a swipe of a screen and a video of someone dancing.  

I downloaded Instagram in 2012 and I loved the idea of sharing a photo from each day of my life.  Over the years, I’ve also enjoyed using the app to stay in touch with students from a couple of generations of teaching.  I see the app as an important tool for me to use as an artist, teacher and runner.  I find connection, community and sometimes education.  During winter break I also found something else.  I found myself scrolling almost endlessly into the night.  In the late evenings when I was done with my day, I would open Instagram and start scrolling.  Sometimes I’d find an idea and screenshot it or I’d see a process I wanted to revisit later and save that.  But most often it was what my kids call “brain rot”.  A silly video, a joke or someone’s thoughts about a current event.  During those late nights, I would become a customer instead of a seller.

In moderation, all of that may be fine, but I didn’t like how I felt.  An hour or more lost to scrolling through nonsense.  Time I would never get back.  Looking at my sketchbook during that time, I see skeletons of days.  Very few sketches, very few words.  Compare those sketchbook days to the days I spent my still time with a pen in my hand and you’ll see a huge difference.  

In early January, I was brushing my teeth before bed.  My brain was tucking itself in for the night and I caught myself staring at the fuzzy rug on the bathroom floor.  Amongst the hundreds of tufts of blue yarn pushed in different directions by bare feet, dog paws and gravity, my eyes and brain worked together to show me a little man’s face with a wide, full mustache.  I was staring at a rug and suddenly, I saw the yarn laid out in the shape of a man’s face.  I smiled and remembered the bathroom door in my parents’ house.  I remembered how creative my brain is when I give it the time and space to be still.  

I’m now making a conscious effort to let my phone be a tool instead of a crutch.  I will still spend some time catching up, staying in the loop and attempting to advertise my work, but I will consciously try to avoid the death scroll.  I want to keep my hours and provide the stillness my brain needs to explore creativity.  

In a culture where everyone keeps a phone in their hand, it may seem weird to you that I’m sitting and staring off into space.  Maybe my kids will see me and ask me what I’m doing.  I hope my brain will stay agile enough to come up with a funny response.  

look what you made me do...part 3 of 3

Part 3:

So, Jencyn, the nursing major visited the Sculpture Studio and was invited to make something.  That positive experience snowballed into a second, more involved, sculptural experience.  At the end of the second day, Jencyn wrote:  “While I am fully knowledgeable on the stress shared in that studio as deadlines approach and art show submissions loom, it was an escape for me, and I was, and am, really grateful I got the chance to be a sculpture student for a day or two with my best friend and her friends and her teacher who was more than willing to teach me, a random girl who is not supposed to be there, how to weld."

I have known for several years that students have a different experience in my classes than they may have in other classes.  I have largely shrugged this off in the past or just chalked it up to the Sculpture Studio just being a fun place.  I honestly thought that it was just easier for students to have a positive experience in Sculpture because the nature of the processes are so much fun.  It wasn’t until I spoke with some other professors and teachers that I realized not every Sculpture Studio is like ours.  It made me a little more curious about what those differences were.  "The unexamined life..." and all, right?  Jencyn's experience was a perfect opportunity for me to engage with those thoughts.  If you're not a teacher, I won't judge you if you skip the multitude of words to follow.

Obviously we were engaging with experiential learning.  That’s almost always a given in my Sculpture classes that are heavily based on action and doing.  Art students at this level often learn best when they get their hands on the materials and get to actively participate in the processes.  However, each professor handles this differently.  My approach is to introduce the tools and processes in a way that is not overwhelming or information overload.  For each new material/project, I’ll introduce and demonstrate the tools and equipment students will need for that material/project.  A little bit of general information to keep people safe, followed by more specific information distributed as they have more experiences.

I also learned that my approach to those introductions is different from other approaches.  Talking about it is boring and ineffective for tactile learners.  At the end of the day, no one cares about WHY the MIG welder works or what kind of compressed gas it uses.  They need to know what it feels like to hold a welding gun in their hands while sparks fly all over them as they try to move very slowly the distance of one quarter of an inch.  That is very much a “learn by doing” experience.  

With Jencyn, I did very little explaining, zero lecturing and just let her feel her way through both of these experiences.  She may have, at times, felt like she was a lone explorer, but everything she did was closely monitored, highly considered and completely safe.  She was able to feel like she was walking a tightrope alone, but she had a very secure safety net if she needed it.  I love the perceived sense of adventure and danger that comes with sculpture, but so much of it is really just perception.  In reality, my sculpture worker and I are very closely monitoring each student for safety and progress.  

This idea of academic adventure is important.  My current generation of students mostly came from K-12 environments where they were told exactly what to do.  Meeting expectations was treated as excellence by many.  Current college students love to be told exactly what is required of them so that they can check boxes.  My projects, by design, force students to think for themselves.  I intentionally provide limited amounts of information so that students can’t just follow a script.  In order to solve the problems of each project, they must think analytically and critically.  This makes many students very uncomfortable because they do not know the outcome before they start.  That is what makes each project a worthwhile creative endeavor.  This is when students start using a larger percentage of their brains.

Jencyn had no idea what to expect with either of these experiences.  Because I was moving around so much between students on the first day, she must have felt like a solo adventurer, and in a way, she was.  I’m sure it was a relief to have Elena and Cathryn nearby to help in my absence, but she was basically making the foam heart on her own.  While that may have been scary at times, it also increased the feeling of accomplishment  when the project was complete.  To know you created something great and you did it all by yourself is a great feeling.  

Students in my classes are almost never shown previous examples of student work.  Inevitably, they’ll see work on display on campus and my projects have grown a bit of a lore about them over the years.  I learned many years ago, that if I show an example of a past student’s project, every new student will see that project as the goal and I’ll get a whole class of projects that solve the problems exactly the same way.  There’s nothing creative about that.  When I don't show examples, suddenly there are a multitude of correct ways to go about solving problems and the results get far more creative and interesting.

There’s a downside to not showing examples.  I have to do a lot more explaining and often, I have to take students by the figurative hand and lead them through the more difficult parts of a project.  This extra work on my part is worth it if it helps to produce students who are always looking for the most creative solution.  I have a long drive home where I can ride in silence if I need a break from hearing my name a thousand times.  I'm kinda not kidding.

Jencyn was in uncharted territory.  She had almost no visual touchstones to rely on.  She had the freedom to make whatever she wanted in both instances and while that freedom may have created an amount of discomfort, it also gave her permission to make and draw anything that made her happy.  She had no idea that the steel heart shaped glasses would be a level of difficulty that was far beyond her current capabilities because she hadn't seen anyone try it and fail.  She simply had the freedom to say that’s what she wanted to create.

Academic scaffolding was in place to help her and to protect her, but she likely had no idea.  Students don’t need to be aware of all that a teacher is doing to create a safe and effective learning environment.  I often seem as if I’m operating without a plan.  While this is far from true, it does create a fun, fly by the seat of your pants feeling for students.  This creates an air of excitement, as if anything could happen.  Sure, there are times when I have no idea if something will work out, but most often, I have a lot of experience and knowledge to guide me.  Students don’t need to know that.  Everyone loves an adventure.  Let them have some fun!

Which brings us to the idea of impossibility.  Over the years, I’ve had many students bring sketches of ideas to me that I have a pretty high level of confidence knowing they are not currently capable of creating.  I know things about the materials and processes that they do not know.  I can look two or three weeks into the future and anticipate the problems they’ll encounter.  I’ll take what I know about each student and do some calculations and sometimes I’ll know there’s no way they’ll succeed.  Very often, I’ll greenlight the idea anyway.  

Why?  I had this one student who could do anything she wanted.  She was that type of person, smart, creative and driven.  One day I told her that I wanted her to come up with an idea of a form she thought it would be impossible to create in her preferred method of making.  She presented the idea and she was right, it looked impossible.  I told her to try to make it.  It took her several months, a few tears and a lot of cursing, but she did it and it remains one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen a student create.  By my calculations, it was impossible, yet she did it.

Was it academically irresponsible to greenlight that impossible idea?  Not in the least.  I understand exactly how much a student can learn from doing something impossible.  Most often, it isn’t possible and the student will either figure that out and pivot to a better idea or solution, or they’ll learn the limitations of the process and they’ll develop an even better plan.  They only way they fail is if they quit.  Sometimes they do quit, but it’s rare.  Sometimes, they don’t fail.  If you don’t tell someone it’s impossible, they might just make it possible.  

I have learned to praise the attempt and to encourage students through the tough parts.  Most creative students love a good challenge.  Some of my people absolutely thrive when they know I don’t think they can do something.  I tend to create comedically oppositional relationships with students and they love to show me I was wrong.  Don’t tell them that I love it too.

My hope is that all of these things help to create a feeling of “fun” in the studio.  Fun is not an academic word, but I’ve recently learned that “play” is gaining respect in the academic world.  The ability to approach a problem with a healthy sense of play is so important, especially in the Sculpture Studio.  When you are free to play, there’s no risk.  You’re not worried about grades and you know you have support nearby, so there’s more freedom to try things.  Especially when you have a loud bald guy urging you to just do it and see what happens.  

The freedom to play in the studio is crucial to my personal approach to teaching.  I have intentionally created a controlled environment where students can feel welcomed and safe.  When you feel welcome and safe, you can play.  An environment where you’re encouraged to try a variety of possible approaches creates a situation where students can engage with their most creative thoughts.  It creates an environment where students can have a very frustrating experience and they’ll still be excited to come tell me exactly what went wrong and what they’re going to do differently the next time.  

Jencyn also saw firsthand just how supportive the Sculpture studio can be.  The encouragement of a teacher can be powerful, but you know what’s even more powerful?  The encouragement of your peers.  From the moment Jencyn stepped into the studio, students welcomed her, saw that she was attempting to make things and they praised the attempt.  Elena, Cathryn and Jenna all spent significant time with Jencyn and they encouraged like it was their job.  Other students passing through smiled, said encouraging things and offered support.  Gabe was working in the welding area with us and his constant smile and positive presence was a tangible comfort.

All of these teaching tactics, paired with my particular personality and teaching style, work together to create a learning environment where the tone has been set, the challenges have been laid out, the safety net is in place and the freedom to play has been encouraged.  Of course, this doesn’t work all the time.  Some students simply don’t jive with my personality or my academic approach.  This bothers me far more than I’ll ever tell you, but I am learning that there’s not much I can do about it.  My hope is that those students will find their way to another mentor and/or another creative discipline and find success.  I’m not advocating for all studio professors and art teachers to adopt my methods.  I am offering an explanation of them so that they can steal whatever works for them and their students and personalities.  

So what did this accomplish?  I’m not out here trying to convert the masses to be Art majors or even 3D BFAs.  Students sometimes think that, but you have to consider this from my perspective.  Teaching is hard when you have great students.  Why would I want students who weren’t passionate about being there?  My job is to teach, not to convert.  The good news will spread itself.  (I feel like there’s a religious application there, but no one has time for that, right?)  Jencyn isn’t going to drop her Nursing major and become a sculptor.  So what was the goal?  

The goal was to point out the innate creativity she already had.  I wanted to help her to see the abilities she has and to build confidence.  I wanted her to see what was involved in the physical process of creating a three-dimensional form and to grow in her appreciation for art and art-making.  If she never comes back to the studio, she will forever see 3D artwork differently.  She will have a greater appreciation for what it takes to produce a form that simply did not exist an hour before.  She will know how to break a large project down into smaller parts.  She will understand the importance of developing a plan and the importance of hard work to make that plan a reality.  

And maybe, if I’m lucky, she will always hold a place in her life for creativity.  Maybe she will know that she can do things all by herself and that she never has to rely on a significant other to do things for her.  Maybe she’ll wake up every day and remember that she’s a badass, because she is.

One final teacher thought:  Jencyn’s studio success was not only because of the learning environment.  Jencyn came into the studio as a smart, creative and disciplined student.  More often than not, students like that will find success no matter how bad my teaching is.  

I would still argue that a great student plus great teaching is an equation for even greater success.

Jencyn signed off on her sculpture experience with this:  “I would offer for you guys to come and learn to manually take blood pressures or cry in a study room with me the night before a pharm exam but I don’t think that would be as fun.”

Well, I would bet there are days when my people would gladly trade places, but when they returned to their senses, hopefully they'd see that a creative and playful experience is worth tolerating me!

look what you made me do...part 2 of 3

Part 2:

Class time came on Thursday and Jencyn was back in the studio.  I was stoked.  I should say that during this 3 hour class time, I have stacked classes.  This means I have students working in the studio from Sculpture 1, Sculpture 2, Sculpture 3, Advanced Sculpture 1, Advanced Sculpture 2 and I have an MFA student as well.  This translates into managed chaos for me.  I’m constantly being pulled in 7 directions and I’m hearing students shout my last name hundreds of times.  Sculptural processes often require me to be present and very observant to keep my students safe.  I stay busy and I’m constantly moving during this time.  I knew this would be a challenge for working individually with Jencyn but I also felt this was an important moment as a teacher.

Jencyn suited up, total badass...

...but make it fashion!

Elena, Cathryn and Jenna helped get Jencyn properly dressed in some overalls, a welding jacket, gloves and a welding helmet.  She looked like a badass sculpture student before we even got started.  When I teach welding to a class, I do so in small groups and I can sense the apprehension in the students.  They have heard the welder and seen the sparks and they tend to be very nervous.  I spend a lot of time making them feel comfortable and safe.  Jencyn showed no fear so I decided to just go for it.  I quickly explained what was going to happen, welded a small spot for her to watch and handed her the welding gun.  She hesitated only briefly and then pressed the trigger and sparks went flying.  It was great.  

Jencyn (left) making her first sparks

Sometimes students weld for the first time and it’s honestly not that amazing.  I will admit to being a little generous with the praise and compliments on occasion, but when I tell you this lady is a natural, you need to believe me.  Her welds were immediately strong and looked great.  She had the rhythm and pace.  In another couple of minutes, she had welded two curved rods into a heart.  Yes, I precut and bent the two pieces to make a heart.  Judge if you wish, but she's a fellow Swiftie and it made her smile.  

Jencyn’s recollection of this part was:  “The next day I didn’t have class, and got an invitation to come back and do something fun. I was excited and also very nervous. I walked into the studio following Elena kinda like a scared puppy haha. I watched Elena and Cathryn do an impromptu haircut on Jenna, and felt like I was getting to experience a “go to work with your roommate” day. They got me suited up to weld, where I got to weld a heart together and learned how to put metal together from McAbee. I don’t curse, but I got the status of “BadA$$”, which made me feel cool. 

Everyone in there was also very supportive of my side quest, which made me feel really special considering I had no idea what I was doing and was lowkey afraid I’d somehow be the one to accidentally, like, light the studio on fire or something.” 

Back to my perspective…With this major accomplishment under her belt, Jencyn could have retired and had a fun story to tell.  A lot of people would have been overwhelmed and wanted to quit while they were ahead.  Anticipating this and not knowing how many days I could get her in the studio, I explained how impressed I was and that with this new knowledge she had about a process, she could now extrapolate that into making just about anything she wanted to make.  

She didn’t seem eager to leave, so I suggested that she come up with some ideas of things she’d like to make and I would help her.  She sat down and drew sketches in a sketchbook.  Just so you’re visualizing this with me, we had a nursing major all decked out in sculpture studio clothing sitting in the studio drawing in a sketchbook.  I think I may have felt an emotion.

A few minutes later we looked at her sketches and talked about which ones she was most interested in making.  She chose a pair of heart sunglasses and within minutes she was drawing the shapes on a flat piece of steel.  Another couple of minutes later, I was demonstrating the plasma torch for her.  As the downpour of sparks danced across the floor towards her feet, she didn’t flinch.  Instead, she took the torch in her hand and carefully cut out the shapes, being very careful to cut on the lines.  It was great!

Jencyn took to the plasma torch like a pro

Cleaning up the edges of the steel is a longer and less fun process.  It was here that I was able to step in and grind the steel because I knew the tedious process would be a deterrent.  No sense in frustrating people for no good reason.  Once those pieces were cut and cleaned, they were ready to weld together.  This weld would be a slightly more complex weld, but Jencyn was up for the challenge.  I described how I wanted her to move her hands and she followed my instructions to the letter.  Welding on thin sheet is very tricky and it’s so easy to burn through.  She had the right touch and got it on the first try.  

Jencyn made this out of steel!

There was a lot of praise and celebration.  She had essentially completed two welding projects in one class period and had solidified her status as a certified badass.  I was thrilled for her.  I was also thrilled for me because my brain was already trying to assess the teaching systems at work during those two studio events.  Why did this work?  How did I convince a nursing major to learn to weld?  Remember, this isn’t a clean, comfortable paint and pour situation.  She got dirty and manipulated molten metal at 2000 degrees.  This was hard.

Jencyn wrote:  “After McAbee had to do some major work to get all the excess metal parts off, he let me weld everything together and I was very very very happy with the result. Like, I for real just sketched that out and made that???? I felt really special for being given the invitation to hang out in there and make things, and I hope to go back and do more if I’m able. (side note, I left the glasses in the studio with the intention of going back and throwing some color on them, because I am me and making them pink is speaking to my soul), and while I have been busy with the chaos of catching back up on labs and nursing work, I have full intention and plans to go back.”

Y’all.  Not only did Jencyn volunteer to show up for a 3 hour sculpture session that involved the real possibility of getting burned, she loved it and has plans to come back.  What???

Of course, this says something about the curiosity, character and positive attitude of Jencyn.  But I think it also says something about the instructional tactics and the learning environment cultivated in the Sculpture Studio.

Maybe it’s time to step back and think a little about what was happening.  Teachery stuff coming soon in Part 3.

look what you made me do...part 1 of 3

Part 1:

I met Jencyn about a year ago and I knew about her several months prior to that meeting.  She is a nursing major, currently excelling in that program and on her way to becoming a successful graduate.  During her freshman year, she was randomly paired with a roommate, Elena, who happened to be an art major.  Elena enrolled in a sculpture class and not too long after that experience, changed her major to 3D BFA, which meant taking a lot more sculpture classes.  That sentence could be extrapolated into a whole story of its own, but today we’re just focusing on Jencyn.  

Jencyn started hearing about the sculpture class and the sculpture professor, and I’m sure she heard a lot more than I even know at this point.  I can be a bit much in the studio.  I actively try to harness my high energy and enthusiasm for sculpture and use that to inspire students to do great things.  This is a highly considered aspect of my teaching practice.  I understand that it can come off as annoying and probably overwhelming at times.  I’m sure Jencyn heard it all.  

About a year ago, Elena told me that Jencyn would like to come to a coffee talk so Cathryn, Elena and I met her at Starbucks for an hour-long conversation.  We left, having learned that Jencyn was cool, and we went on about our lives in the sculpture studio while Jencyn went back to studying.  

coffee with jencyn 2025

A few little adventures have happened in the time since but when this spring semester began, Jencyn found herself with a little extra time on Tuesdays and Thursdays, conveniently when my upper level sculpture classes meet.  One recent Tuesday, I walked through the studio on a rampage trying to get students motivated to work and when I walked past Elena’s studio table, I saw Jencyn sitting there with a laptop.  She seemed to be doing some work and I didn’t want to pry, so I said hello and moved along with my rampage.  

A little while later I walked by again and saw Jencyn still there.  I made a little comment about how if she stuck around too long, I’d put her to work.  She joked back and over the next few minutes my teacher brain started buzzing.  I wondered what she would do if I gave her some sculpture materials.  You know, just some simple things, maybe that air dry clay that’s been on the shelf for a couple of years.  I wondered, “Could I get her to make a sculpture?” and I think I kept that question silent in my head.  My teacher interest was piqued.

I whirled around and started looking for materials.  The air dry clay turned out to be just a recycled container, so I quickly located some alternative materials.  I found a couple of Styrofoam spheres and some wire.  I went to Jencyn and deposited the materials and said, “Here, if you’re gonna be in the sculpture studio, you have to make something!”.  This was an important moment from my perspective.  Once the challenge is issued, the seconds that follow often determine the outcome.  Without hesitation, she closed her laptop, smiled and said, “Alright.”  The best possible response.  It was on.

Jencyn getting started

Jencyn told me later that as she worked on her “project”, she was creating a blog post in her head about her experience.  She was kind enough to write it down and give me permission to share excerpts with you.  About this part of the story, she wrote:

“Last week, I got the honor to play pretend sculpture student not once, but twice. It started as an invitation from Elena to work on my assignments in an environment that wasn’t our apartment or a stuffy study room in the library. I accepted, of course.  I feel special to be allowed in the sculpture studio and to get the chance to pretend I belong there. I sat in and started working on an assignment that wasn’t due for another week. I was kind of having a hard week. The anxiety of nursing classes, labs, never ending ATI assignments along with the studying I should’ve been doing was catching up to me and I had had multiple days of feeling like I wasn’t allowed to relax or give myself time to think about anything else because I had to focus on passing and passing well. About 45 minutes into this, McAbee randomly asked if I wanted to make something. I said “sure!” , considering I was in a studio I technically wasn’t supposed to be in, and already had multiple days of work ahead done, why not. He handed me some random objects, Cathryn and Elena handed me tools, and I got to work.”

Back to my narrative…I paid close attention for the next hour or so.  I couldn’t really give her an assignment because I didn’t want to scare her off, but not giving any direction at all could lead to frustration.  So I kept a close eye on progress.  She started out bending the wire and trying to connect it to the spheres.  That didn’t seem to be doing much, so I told her she could do anything she wanted, even carving the foam.  This was a magic button.  She immediately lit up, took a sharp tool and began carving the sphere.  Just a few minutes later, she had carved a heart from the sphere with a knack for form that I don’t always see in art students, even some 3D BFA students.  Elena was also helping and encouraging her.  She may have suggested the addition of some paper maché and we quickly located some pre-mixed glue and water and Jencyn got to work as if she knew exactly what she was doing.  She later wrote:

“I sat and carved a makeshift heart out of Styrofoam, and was mid paper-mâché when I received a small red sticker of encouragement. I smiled and said thank you, feeling a little silly because I hadn’t really done much compared to the other people in the studio grinding (both literally with tools and figuratively in working). I ended up making a heart with paper mâché and writing/doodling on it and stuck some wire spiraled through it. I had fun. It was the first time in a few days I hadn’t felt so anxious, even if all I did was make a mess with some Styrofoam.”

Elena getting the paper maché ready

By the end of that studio class, Jencyn had created a small paper maché heart covered in sheet music.  She further decorated the surface with marker and did a great job.  I praised and encouraged and invited her to come back any time.

The finished heart, Jencyn's first sculpture!

Before the Thursday studio class, Elena let me know that Jencyn was coming back.  A major teaching victory for me!  I told Elena to make sure Jencyn was dressed for studio work, a hint that welding was an option if the clothing was right.  Could I get her to do one of the scariest processes in the studio?  Would she burst into flames and run out of the studio on fire?  Tune in next time for Part 2 of the story.

misnomer

(note:  this one took some time to ferment and develop so it’s been roughly 7 days between the writing of it and the posting of it.)

Dear Friends,

There’s so much evil going on in the world, a blog seems so silly.  I had a wonderful teaching experience this week that I wanted to share.  I had the rare opportunity to give a crash course in sculpture to a non-major and after thinking about it more, I think there’s something profound to be mined from it.  Something about pedagogical theory and how I’m using it intentionally to create a specific environment for learning.

Sadly, you’re going to have to wait a bit for that one because between me beginning to process those thoughts on Friday and me getting to have a moment in front of a computer now (Saturday evening) some things have happened to distract me.  Yesterday, when our “representatives” had the opportunity to stop funding this obvious violation of constitutional rights and basic human rights going on in the streets of our cities, several of those goofballs flipped and pushed the total number of votes for funding over the top.  They had the power to end it and they chose not to do that.  Then, another protester was shot and killed.  An American citizen.  And none of us can forget that before that, they did that thing with the 5 year old kid.  

I have come to expect government to be evil.  It’s not a pleasant thought to sit with, but it’s an honest thought based on years of observation.  What I’m having a tougher time with is the general and specific support of political evil by those who label themselves as “Christian”.  To be a little more specific, I’m mostly talking about those who label themselves as Evangelical Christian, the brand of Christianity I grew up in.

I’m not talking about the politicians who will court their local churches and quote Bible verses during election season.  These chumps will do and say literally anything to be elected/reelected. No, I’m talking about your aunts, uncles, friends and acquaintances who are very active in their local church but have fallen victim to false teachings about their religion.  The ones who’ve been tricked into believing their religion can be mixed with their politics.

False teaching sounds harsh, I know.  You see, I’ve read the Bible a few times and studied it for many years as a regular churchgoer and I know the text has a lot of bad things to say about false teachers and false prophets.  I was just always made to believe those were the people outside the church.  Not the pastors.  Not the Sunday School teachers.  Not our relatives.

Driving around my small Southern town, I know to expect to see an American flag sticker and maybe a couple of gun stickers on the back of a vehicle sporting a cross or some other Christian symbol.  There may not be anything wrong with that in principle.  I’m not a fan of stereotypes and I don’t mind telling you that I like my freedom, I own guns and I follow the teachings of Jesus.  All those things and more can be wrapped in one complicated human.  That knowledge prevents me from being too judgmental of stickers on cars until I see the Christian symbols mixed with the political stickers.  For clarity, I don’t care which flavor of politics you prefer.  Left, right, donkey or elephant, none of it mixes well with Jesus.

In my church upbringing, I sat in a sanctuary listening to a pastor explaining the Bible to me while he (yes, it was always a he) was flanked by two flags, one with stars and stripes and one with a cross.  At Vacation Bible School, I carried one of those flags when I was well behaved and held it proudly as we recited the pledge of allegiance to the American flag, the Christian flag and the Bible.  (It has come to my attention that this may be a much more specific personal experience than I thought.  If you’re curious about these pledges, I’d be happy to discuss.  I still remember them.)  We had big “outreach” events on the 4th of July, complete with fireworks and we got a lot of not-so-subtle instructions on how a Christian should vote every couple of years around October.  America was always on stage in the church.  

We were taught that we lived in a “Christian Nation” built on “Christian Principles” so it seemed normal to have so much “Murica” mixed into our religion.  Our men’s groups would have “wild game dinners” that focused on camouflage, gun rights and hunting.  We were constantly reminded that we needed to stand against the killing of unborn babies and I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that we were encouraged to vote for anyone who ran on the “pro-life” ticket, no matter how terrible or unqualified they were.  I’m using past tense here and these experiences date back to my childhood, but I assure you that all of these things and more are still going on in the Evangelical Church to this day.

But somehow, that escalated into being encouraged to vote for the “lesser of two evils” even when that “lesser” was actually a convicted felon who in a recorded TV interview told the interviewer that he had never in his life done anything that he needed to ask forgiveness for.  In light of what we know he’s done now, that seems particularly not in line with at least one of the Ten Commandments.

And many of these “Christians” won’t admit they messed up.  With so many human rights violations happening on a daily basis, many Christian pastors are still not standing up in their pulpits and pointing out the contradictions between the teachings of Jesus and the works of the evil people they helped put in power.  They continue to support a power structure and political leaders who embody taking away the rights of anyone who doesn’t choose to live like Christians think you should live.    

The Jesus they say they love, the Jesus who was brown, who illegally crossed borders as an immigrant, who was wanted by the political and religious authorities, who broke religious laws, who cared for the poor and the sick and who loved everyone, no matter what they did or believed would likely not be welcome in their million dollar megachurches.  And even if they allowed him inside, I can’t help but think he would be bewildered by their in-house coffee shops, the pastor’s book sales in the lobby and the constant requests for money.  Remember that time when Jesus flipped those tables in the Temple?  Good times.

The American Evangelical Christian church is not growing.  Your local pastor may show you numbers that indicate otherwise, but I’ll ask you to really look at the data closely.  The church that’s gaining members is largely gaining them from other churches in decline.  The Christians are simply moving around within their established subculture when they get angry or bored.  That bump in attendance at your church is less evidence that the church is growing and more evidence that the pastor across town just made some people mad.  

The teachings of Jesus were called “gospel” or literally translated, good news.  That good news in a broader view is that all humans are loved by God.  All humans.  Keep in mind that “Christians” didn’t even exist when this good news was first announced.

The group that is currently abducting, attacking and killing people in the street has been using Bible verses in their job marketing ads.  They’re using right-wing religious media to advertise to young Christian men.  People are arguing online and Christians are attempting to defend the senseless violence as a holy purge.  People with Bible verses posted in their bios are wishing death and harm on people who have different opinions than them.  People, who like them, were created in the image of the God they say they love.

Hatred, bigotry and corruption.  Not exactly good news.

Listen, this is not easy for me to write.  I was raised to believe I was supposed to love my neighbor AND my enemy.  That I was supposed to care for the those less fortunate than me.  That I was supposed to seek peace and that my life was supposed to be a visual representation of the good news.  Now I’m watching those spiritual beliefs be hijacked by a political party and used as a weapon.  If that sentence makes you uncomfortable, I encourage you to research how the anti-abortion issue was injected into Evangelical Churches a few decades ago in a calculated effort to get Christians to vote.  I’m watching the church who told me to love my neighbor in Sunday School, worship a criminal who makes fun of mentally challenged people, insults women and brags about assault.  When I tell people I’m a Christian, I have to follow up with “but not THAT kind of Christian”.  Simultaneously, I’m watching Christians I used to respect double down on cruelty.  They say those people shouldn’t have come here illegally, so they deserve it.  They say the protesters should have stayed home so they deserve it.  And my new favorite, they say he shouldn’t have been carrying a gun.  Oh the irony as they carry their concealed weapons to church every Sunday morning.  

I guess those “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets were just decoration.  What about grace?  What about mercy?  What about love?  I’m ready to see the people who say they follow the teachings of Jesus start acting like Jesus.  And if they don’t want to do that, I’m ready for them to start calling themselves what they really are:  Capitalists.