changing my mind: part 2 of 6

 Part 2:  The question is coming from inside the house

My life as an academic started after I broke ties with my childhood church.  I have a distinct memory of sitting in a deacon’s meeting at that church and listening to a discussion about whether or not the church should continue to give a small amount of money to a church member and college student who was studying Theology at the college level.  The student had chosen to go to a “liberal” university and was going to a church where there was a (go ahead and clutch your pearls) woman minister on staff!  The church had been providing a few hundred dollars each academic year to cover the cost of “books” but we needed to see if everyone was still ok with supporting this cause because they didn’t want to support a “liberal” education.

In that discussion and in several other discussions I was present for in that church, I heard the warning that we needed to be careful about people becoming “too educated”.  There were direct warnings given to college students to be wary of liberal college professors who might question their beliefs.  If you sit in one of their classes, you might lose your faith!  I remember being cautioned about one of the universities I was interested in attending for art because the school had a reputation of being “too liberal” on religious topics.  

When you’re in your first half of life and you’re neck-deep in doctrine, warnings like this seem helpful.  I didn’t even waste the money to apply to the liberal school and I thought I was making a moral decision at the time.  When you’re in the second half of life, it’s so much easier to see that kind of warning as cult behavior.  Young people are taught to be fearful of education.  They are encouraged to learn within the institution, not outside of it.  We were supposed to learn the Bible from our pastors, not actual Bible scholars.  Isn’t that odd?  It definitely begs the question of why the church organization would be fearful of data.

When you’re not filling cognitive dissonance with doctrine, your questions might even lead to more questions.  Why did I believe I had to interpret the Bible or a specific verse a certain way?  I believed that because I had a succession of pastors in my early life that all basically taught the same thing - one way of interpreting the Bible.  But where did they learn that specific interpretation?  

As an academic, I am bound by the requirements of my university to conduct academic research on a regular basis.  This means that a certain percentage of my overall workload must be academic research in my area of expertise.  I work at a public institution so I am free to research most topics.  However, those who choose to teach at private religious universities must sign a statement of belief and agree to not conduct research in areas that fall outside the belief system or creed of their university.  One result of such a limitation is that Biblical scholars and others immersed in the world of religious studies at these private institutions may only conduct research that plays well with the belief system of their university.  This limits what they can study, write and publish about in their research.  Once you understand this, it comes as little surprise to find that a particular seminary continues to produce echoing voices in ongoing research.  The echo chamber creates a cycle that remains intact and future generations of pastors and ministers will continue to be educated with the same echoes from the past.  

These echoes are repeated in the sermons and in the educational materials purchased by churches within the same belief system.  The echoes continue as students listen and learn from the echoes and until they eventually become pastors and ministers who are products of the echo chamber, who then pass the echoes along to their congregations, filling any cognitive dissonances with the same familiar echoes.  If your Southern Baptist pastor was educated at Southeastern Seminary or Southwestern Seminary, guess what?  Your Sunday sermons are echoes of that system just like mine were.

Good Christians in my church were encouraged to study the Bible.  Heck, we had Sunday School on Sunday mornings, Discipleship Training on Sunday nights, Bible Study on Wednesday nights and that Sunday morning worship service was the icing on a very big cake of weekly Biblical studies.  However, all of that “education” came from inside the church.  There, it could be monitored and controlled.  No one dared to use those two words, but let’s call it what it was/is.  Remember, when I started to go off script, I was shown the door.  The exit door, apparently not the one Jesus was knocking on during Vacation Bible School.  

In my years of growing up in the church, I saw many potential problem people dealt with quietly.  A teacher or church leader would quietly schedule a meeting with a person who was asking too many questions or teaching something the church didn’t like.  I get it, it’s their club and they get to choose who they play with.  They even had the writings of Paul to back them up when they needed to kick someone out.  If you are still a friend to the system, you may have bristled at my use of the words “monitored” and “controlled” in the previous paragraph.  As a person who was on the inside of many meetings and “talks”, I can assure you those words are accurate.  Echo chambers don’t work unless all the voices are the same.

Each church creates its own subculture and then works really hard to keep everyone in it.  I grew up in the era of churches becoming megachurches.  If you wanted to keep everyone around, you needed to offer more than just services on Sunday.  You needed a gym so the youth can play basketball and maybe they’ll come to the church when they get bored.  You need to have all sorts of classes about finance, budgets, successful marriages, how to raise Godly children and somehow figure out how to use the Bible to teach all that.  You just HAVE to have a coffee shop.  Of course the proceeds will go to the church.  Many churches also starting having “merch”.  You can buy your t-shirts and canvas tote bags with the cool new logo on it in the lobby on your way out.  Don’t forget to pick up the pastor’s latest self-published book while you’re there.  Don't worry, he will be sure to mention his book several times during worship services so you don't forget!

That’s starting to sound cynical, but sadly, it’s also a true depiction of things I’ve experienced many, many times.  All of these things are done to provide all you need within the church.  Many churches offered after-school and daycare, some offered K-12 schools and all offered to provide you all the education you could take, as long as it came from within the echo chamber.  

Here's a true confession:  I chose to pay a crap-ton of money to put both my kids through a private Christian school from Kindergarten through 12th grade.  Why would I do that if I seem to have some sort of beef with churches offering K-12 education?  There’s a really long answer to that if you’re interested, but the short answer is pretty simple.  I was a certified K-12 teacher and I’ve had a LOT of interaction with the public school system.  The particular school my kids attended provided a better quality education in a more love-centered environment.  It’s ok if you think my views are hypocritical.  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” – Emerson.

changing my mind: part 1 of 6

 Part 1:  Doors and Disonnances

When was the last time you changed your mind about something?  

No, I mean, like, really changed your mind about something big.  Do you know that it’s ok to change your mind, even as an adult?

Just so you know what you’re signing up for with this one, I’m about to share some of my personal spiritual/religious beliefs and questions with you.  If you’re not interested, I totally respect that and I hope you have a good day.  If you’ve always wondered exactly what was wrong with me, well, today may be the day you find out!  Get a beverage and read on.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist church.  Present every Sunday for morning and evening services and very involved in all the things.  I was active as a teenager in Youth Group and as soon as I graduated high school, I was drafted into teaching youth Sunday School.  I was a youth leader and the unofficial youth minister for about a year when our church was between real, paid staff members.  At a certain point in my young adult life, there were only two days each week I wasn’t actively engaged in some church activity.  

As a young child, I heard the Vacation Bible School message of Jesus standing at the door and knocking as a call to salvation.  I was taught about the absolute importance of having a “personal relationship with God”.  I was taught “theology” and Bible stories for as far back as I can remember, including some very formative years when I was preschool age and my mom would give me an offering envelope to scribble on to keep me still and quiet during the sermon.  (I still draw like a madman during worship services to this day.)  It’s an image that lives on in my head.  On the floor on my knees facing the back of the sanctuary.  The rust colored fabric padded pew was my drawing table, the “Baptist Hymnal” was my drawing board.  The envelope, carefully and quietly ripped open gave me much more drawing space.  My mom’s ball point pen was far superior to the tiny mini-golf pencils provided in the pew pockets.  I’d love to have those drawings today.  Sorry, I got distracted.  Where were we?

As a young adult, I thought I had learned the Truth, with a capital T, and it was my responsibility to share it.  I taught what I had learned about the Bible along with what I was strongly encouraged to teach through church provided booklets and study guides, to youth, college aged classes and eventually adult Sunday School classes.  Some of those study materials eventually started begging questions in my brain.  I specifically remember asking the pastor of our church a clarifying question about the words of a popular hymn and asking why the words seemed to call Jesus a metaphorical name that the Bible seems to assign to Satan.  (Those hymn words were “He is the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star, He is the fairest of ten thousand to my soul” if you’re interested in doing a deep dive on the other “Morning Star”.)  The pastor confessed that he had never questioned the words of the hymn.  Then he took one of his really thick books from the shelf behind his desk, flipped through it, read a few things quietly, and then laughed and told me I probably shouldn’t worry about it.  

That question was a turning point for me in a very big way.  Without my knowledge, that question put me at odds with the pastor because he was embarrassed and he labeled me a risk as a question asker.  Within a year, I was no longer teaching Sunday School nor was I affiliated with that church, which, in hindsight, is a turn of events I’m so grateful for.  That question was the moment my eyes started to really open.  Maybe I didn’t know the Truth after all. 

Nearly 30 years later, I have continued to be very interested in spirituality and religion, especially when it comes to the Christian flavor of those things.  I consider myself a Christian, but NOT ONE OF THOSE KIND of Christians.  I’m the kind that looks at the life of Jesus and truly tries to live a life that follows his teachings and his behaviors.  I know that I’m not at the end of an evolution of faith and that I am still curious and still learning every day.  I also know that I do not believe the same things I was taught to believe in that Southern Baptist church.  For me, the Truth has changed.  

In that early religious environment, I was taught that the Bible was God’s holy word, inerrant and quite literally true from cover to cover.  Every argument ended at the Bible back then.  A verse would be brought from memory, a Greek word would be explained and any argument would end abruptly.  If you could not accept that the Bible was the final word of Truth then you were not just wrong, but you were also uneducated on the Bible or perhaps a heretic.  Disagreement was not an option.

I was taught a specific doctrine of belief that indicated that Jesus was God, born of a virgin mother, that he lived a sinless life and that he was tortured to death as an intentional blood sacrifice for my sins (and, of course, the sins of all of humanity).  This doctrine extrapolated that the most important thing I could do in life is pray a prayer of repentance and “accept Jesus into my heart”, followed in importance by then making it my life goal to convert all sinners, or to use the lingo, to “save souls from Hell”.

Oh, of course, that meant there was a Hell.  A literal place of eternal punishment complete with fire, brimstone, tormenting demons and every soul who died without “asking Jesus into their heart”.  This doctrine was all based on the interpretation of Scripture (The Bible) and when it didn’t quite make sense, we were then encouraged to have faith “like a child” (Matthew 8:2) and to just not worry about it.

I mentioned the nearly 30 years that passed.  Life has a way of teaching you things through experience.  Another really good way to learn things is to step outside of any echo chambers you may be living in.  When I left my home church, I felt the immediate irony.  The gap between what they said and what they did seemed to grow larger every day.  Without my closest friends whispering reassurance of verses and platitudes at every twist of life, I was actually free to think my thoughts and attempt to live my life with my own faith in God.  The questions rose more and more frequently, as did the disconnect between what I had been taught and what I was seeing as reality.

The first part of my life was classified perfectly by Richard Rohr in his book “Falling Upward”.  I was now in the “second half of life” when the brain needs to make sense of things.  Those disconnects, or cognitive dissonances, need to be closed if one is to truly grow and become what they were created to be.  I think I got to my second half a bit late, but I was at a point where I was willing to ask questions and be genuinely curious about things so maybe that’s not late, just right on time.  Strangely enough, one of the best things I did to untangle all that doctrine was to read the Bible.

I had read the Bible cover-to-cover several times as personal challenges.  You know how I am with stuff like that.  But each time I had read it, I had done so with a lot of prior assumptions about what things meant, the things I had been taught in that first half of life.  When you have a head full of doctrine and you read something in the Bible that doesn’t make sense, that moment of cognitive dissonance is immediately filled with what you were taught in church.  For example:  Early in Genesis, God seems to refer to itself as “we”.  I wondered why there would have been a need to make that pronoun plural.  What does that indicate?  That gap was immediately filled with the doctrine of the Trinity.  If you accept that there is a Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you don’t need to question the “we”, in fact, it makes perfect sense.  But what if, for a few minutes or a few days, you don’t fill that dissonance with doctrine and you just let the question linger?  What might that mean about any potential personification of God?  

I found freedom in that most recent reading.  I was able to be genuinely curious about things that were glossed over or completely left out of church sermons.  Those questions led me to read more materials by scholars and religious thinkers who may be located somewhere other than inside my early church doctrine machine.  

gallery ratings

I have an idea I’m going to give you for free.

At least twice each year I’m reminded that there’s a website called ratemyprofessor.com where students who do not have a degree in education can go and anonymously rate me on a scale of 1-5 according to my teaching, my personality and even my level of “hotness”.  (Are the chili peppers still a thing?  I know they were a million years ago.)

If you regularly read my posts, you’ll know I’m not a fan of anonymous student ratings, especially when they are school-sanctioned and given weight in faculty reviews.  It might surprise you, then, to find that I don’t mind the ratemyprofessor website.  Of course, students can misuse such an online tool but the written comments usually let you know exactly how biased the ratings are.  I would guess that if students still look at things like this online, they can get an idea of whether or not they should take a class from a certain professor based on other students’ experiences.  My students don’t have much of a choice, they’re just kind of stuck with the guy who teaches Sculpture.  

My mixed feelings about anonymous ratings will not prevent me from sharing my great idea with you.  After all, the ability to hold conflicting ideas in one’s head at the same time is some sort of reflection on their capacity for complex thought, right?  

I think artists need a similar resource.  I would like for someone to start a web presence called ratemyartgallery.com.  I’ve checked and the domain seems to be available as of this posting.  I’m not suggesting that artists would be more reliable or mature than students, but I believe such a platform of helpful information about galleries and museums would be beneficial to exhibiting artists.

An image from one of my favorite exhibition spaces, Public Works Art Center in Summerville, SC

10 out of 10 experiences there.  Highly recommend the people and the place.

Artists are dependent on the current exhibition system that is in place.  In order to stay relevant, have their work in front of people and in my case, meet academic research expectations annually, artists need to exhibit their work.  Much of this work is created over years and months with excruciating detail and care.  Some artists feel as if their creations are as sacred as children.  Most artists invest a significant amount of money in materials and time to create a single work of art.  Many artists spend just as much time, effort and money in preparing, packaging and delivering these works of art to exhibition spaces.  There, the artists leave their sacred contributions to this world in the hands of strangers and, too often, unpaid interns for safekeeping.

I have gone to pick up work from an exhibition space and found my work half-hazardly stashed in a storage closet, unwrapped, leaning against other artwork.  I’ve left work carefully bubble wrapped and labeled only to pick it up with no trace of bubble wrap or packing materials.  I’ve had work shipped back to me with badly chipped paint in several different areas of the sculpture and no trace of damage to the box and no evidence of paint chips inside the box or packing materials.  This work was clearly dropped on a concrete gallery floor and quietly packed and shipped back to me without a word.  

On the other side of that coin, early in my career, I shipped several drawings to Chicago behind glass and several of the pieces of glass were broken in transit (and that’s why we don’t use UPS).  When the gallery guy saw it, he informed me and then meticulously removed the glass and replaced it with Plexiglas free of charge.  I’ve also had viewers knock sculptures off pedestals, chipping the paint and the gallery director has apologized like they ran over my dog and offered to file an insurance claim.  

I’ve dealt with curators and gallerists who didn’t show up to the gallery when I drove several hours to meet them.  I’ve dealt with many who were late.  I even had one who had no idea where my art was when I came to pick it up.  It was later found - you can’t make this stuff up - in a kitchen under a shelf with pots and pans.  I’ve joked that when I’m old and don’t care anymore, I will write a blistering tell-all about the art world, naming names and pointing fingers.  I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke.

I’ve also dealt with curators and gallerists who came in on their personal time to let me in the gallery.  Some came in early and late while I worked on murals.  They took me to dinner, offered snacks and coffee and even found me free places to stay while I was in town.  These people who live a life of art have said some of the most insightful and encouraging things to me.  Some of these people have become second family and I love them dearly.  

Any artist could go on social media and brag about a positive encounter if they wanted.  A few of their followers would see it and all would be well.  But no artist can afford to go negative publicly.  Dude, I could tell you some stories and name some names.  Doing so would burn bridges and permanently close doors.  And just to be clear, we’re not always talking about a person.  Sometimes it’s just a place, a town or a campus that an artist might need a warning about.  Some venues are just downright predatory.  But again, you don’t want to be the artist who talks smack.

Enter www.ratemyartgallery.com.  Your all-inclusive place for artists to share their experiences and ratings of exhibition venues with one another.  This resource could be checked before an artist pays an entry fee for a juried show, before they drive 4 hours to deliver work to a locked gallery and before their fragile work becomes irreparably damaged.  Artists could then make a more informed decision.

Sure, an artist with an axe to grind could go there and leave an untrue or inflated negative rating, but when 50 other artists left positive ratings, any artist curious about the gallery would have a lot of information for balance.  Galleries and their workers would be held to a higher standard of conduct.  They would document how work arrived and make sure it left the gallery in the exact same condition – and packaging.  They would make sure that even a student intern knew the correct painters tape to use on bubble wrap so that it doesn’t tear the plastic and render the bubble wrap useless.  Not that I’m a little obsessive about details like that.  

I haven’t checked in a few years, but back in the day, a student could go to my rating on ratemyprofessor and see that they might enjoy my class but they were going to have to work hard.  With a new crop of students appearing in my studio in two weeks, I think that’s good information for them to have.  When those students head out into the art world all wet behind the ears and eager, I’d like for them to have access to similar information about galleries.  Maybe you want to provide that?  I’m a little busy.

making fun, part 2: pickup

Ok, we're back for the second part of our Virginia adventure.  About a month and a half passed since we arrived back home near midnight after dropping off our sculptures in Norfolk.  We made arrangements with the nice people at D'Art Center to pick up all of our work about a week late because I couldn't take two days off the week before the studio sale.  They were very accommodating and since we were all very busy with summer things, we didn't really talk about our trip or plan anything until last minute.  

Cathryn had a conflicting trip and couldn't go.  At first, Elena didn't think she could take the time off of work so we weren't sure she would go.  Violet was out of school this time, so we added her to the group.  As the travel dates approached, Elena decided she couldn't miss it and worked it out so that she could go.  We had no plan, but we still had our info from the first trip and this time we decided we were going to base our operations in nearby Virginia Beach.  This was a decision that happened in seconds in a group chat.  Truly on a whim, a question followed by a bunch of "yes" replies.

So after I got up at 3:40 am to run in the dark with what I was sure was a black bear (long story about running for another time) we piled in the car at 6:00 am and made our first bathroom stop about 2 hours away at the beaver gas station.  We also loaded up on road snacks and coffee.

After driving North Carolina from border to border, we arrived back at Good Earth Peanuts in Shippers, VA.  The "open" sign was on and the door was unlocked.  Finally, we stood in the presence of all those canned peanuts we saw through the window.  We came for the boiled peanuts but we spent the most money on the chocolate peanut butter peanuts.  They are even better than you're imagining right now.  Good Earth Peanuts.  They have a website.  I'm already out of what we bought and ordering more soon.  So good.

We love a good photo opp.  If the fine folks at Good Earth want to sponsor us and pay us in chocolate peanut butter peanuts, we're open to negotiations.

Thanks to the last minute researching by Katherine, she led us to the 2D Cafe and Eatery as soon as we arrived in Virginia Beach.  It was a great find.  The cafe was the perfect place for visual people who love coffee.  The whole place was painted and decorated to look like a line drawing and the Turkish coffee was so good.  

From there, we were winging it.  We bumbled our way to the oceanfront boardwalk and started exploring.

If you're ever asked the question, "do you want to get matching henna tattoos?" the answer is always "YES!".  Trust me on this.

Soon, we were actually on the beach.  Toes in sand.  Feet in water.  It was great.  I love the beach.  We all love the beach.  It was now later in the afternoon and our collective energy was dwindling.  Another thing we all share in common is that we don't sleep well the night before a trip.  The sugar, the coffee and the beach helped to keep us going but I'll be honest, I was starting to fade a little.  It was time to eat.

Katherine and I took a little run on the beach while Elena and Violet soaked up the salty air and then we Googled our way to a local burger joint called Duck Dive.  It was a cool place with good atmosphere and we had the best waiter.  He even took this photo of us and the expression on Elena's face is everything.  She was responding to something he said.  Good times.  

Re-energized by the food, we decided we weren't done for the night.  We headed back to Atlantic Ave for a walk along the stores.  This was my first time in Virginia Beach and while the layout is different from Dirty Myrtle, the stores were basically the same.  There were lots of families out and it felt very safe, but the same hawkers were out trying to lure shoppers into their stores and then bargaining with them on prices to make a sale.  There were also street performers, which I thought was a nice touch, especially for a Monday night.  If you click on the photo above and zoom in, you will see a dude on stilts.  There were several bands and performers on the streets.  Very nice.  

Our reason for being out was to find Dippin' Dots.  It was almost a wild goose chase, but eventually we found some.  Dippin' Dots ain't cheap.  Geez.  

The beds and pillows in the hotel were angelic.  Maybe they felt better because we were all sleep deprived and exhausted, but either way, we slept very well.  Violet needed to get in a conditioning run, so Katherine, Violet and I headed out at 8:30 am for a 3 mile run along the coast.

I've mentioned our love of coffee, right?  I get credit for actually doing a little research and finding this one.  We decided to go to Java Surf for coffee and breakfast.  Food was good, coffee was great.  It was also located in the ViBe arts district along Virginia Beach.  As artists, we enjoyed a little walk through the area after coffee to see some of the cool art.

While we were walking, we ended up bumping into a Bad Ass Coffee by accident.  I've been wanting to try the one in Surfside Beach, SC and even though we had all just finished our first coffees, we were immediately ready for 2nd coffee.  

After that, we continued to explore the beach area.  As we walked and ran while in town, we kept seeing a big sculpture in the distance but we never ended up getting close enough to it.  We decided we needed to check it out.  I'm not a huge fan of the parking situation in Virginia Beach, but we found spot and did some more walking and exploring in search of the sculpture.  

It was a huge bronze sculpture of King Neptune made by an Italian guy in 2005.  Really cool.  

There were a lot of details on the sculpture, but it was hot.  

The weather on our first trip was perfect.  75 degrees, blue skies and light breeze.  The weather on this trip was more normal and realistic for late July.  It was hot, humid when the sun broke through the clouds, it was blistering.  We enjoyed a lot of cloud cover, but my head still got pretty burned.

We took a different route back to the car and found this cool candy shop.  I love candy.  The bright colors, the sweet taste, many of my childhood memories involve candy and sugar.  My dentist is on speed dial.  When Katherine said, "Y'all go sit in the ice cream cone chairs and let me take a photo" I was all about it.  

Apparently Katherine loves candy too.  The shop was a whole vibe.  And I think Katherine got some sort of edible pen and paper candy thing.  Very strange, very cool.

Driving around looking for parking showed us several places we wanted to check out.  One was this cool record store.  It was loud.  I thought I was just being an old man but after a few minutes, everyone was wanting to get out because we were all overstimulated.

The hours were clicking by and in the early afternoon we had to remind ourselves why were were in town.  We had a 20 minute drive to Norfolk where we needed to pick up our sculptures.  Here's maybe the coolest thing about this whole experience:  Elena didn't just get a sculpture accepted into this national level exhibit.  She freakin' won it.  

She was awarded the Best in Show award for her excellent sculpture.  Oddly, Katherine predicted this would happen two months earlier.  That's Elena with her blue ribbon!

Then we played a game of art and luggage Tetris in the car.  Once we had everything packed so that I could still see out of the windows, we pulled back onto the road for the long drive home.

We all agreed that we wanted to arrive home earlier than we did last time.  Arriving at my house at midnight still meant another hour drive for Elena and Katherine.  As we made our meandering way through the day and as we enjoyed conversations on the drive, it started to not matter so much what time it was or what time we'd get home.  When Katherine floated the idea of slowing down to stop and eat at a favorite sit-down restaurant in Florence, SC, everyone happily agreed.  Redbone Alley has been a sculpture delivery stop for a while now.  It also helped that Emily lives in Florence and this would be an opportunity to maybe see her.

Elena really likes to color.  Still no story, just facts.

And there's our group photo with Emily.  She put the little one to bed and then hurried over to sit and chat with us for a while.  It was wonderful.  

After another couple of hours on the interstate, we rolled up into my driveway around midnight again.  When I steered onto the exit ramp near my house, Elena audibly lamented that our trip was nearing an end.  Everyone agreed, even though we were all exhausted.  

That's the thing that doesn't come through with photos.  The road conversation.  From early in the morning to late at night, this group always has great conversations.  Some talks were silly, some were very deep but all were enjoyable.  Each individual was able to put aside things like headaches, stomach aches, personal concerns, future worries and minor dramas and be fully present in heartfelt conversation.  The group was more important than the individual.  It was beautiful.  

Often, I find myself doing the heavy lifting when it comes to conversations.  I know that long pauses on road trips equal boredom and that's a slippery slope to falling asleep.  I often have to initiate conversations or ask crazy questions to get people talking.  With this group, however, I was able to relax and just be a person in the conversation rather than a person feeling responsible for the conversation.  A couple of times, Elena called me out for not saying much during a particular conversation.  That was because it was going along fine without me adding anything.  I could just listen and absorb and think.  My lack of input was a good thing.

One of our travelers told the group just how grateful she was to have gone on this trip and to have had these experiences.  It was a real moment.  Especially for a guy like me who says how much he loves to be alone and has done so many trips like this solo in the past.  In fact, it was almost a year ago to the day that I went on a solo trip to install a sculpture in a pretty remote area.  I remembered texting Cathryn and Elena about something funny that was happening there and I told them they should be there.  They responded that I should have invited them.  I had just never considered that someone would want to go.  Turns out community can be better.  

From the beginning of the first trip, one of the main goals was "fun".  No normal human wants to drive 14 hours in two days, so how do you make a drive like that fun?  These cool travelers demonstrated how.  You wake up super early and you know you're not a morning person, so you make sure to have a really good coffee and you do things that will ensure that you are in the best mood possible.  You say yes a lot.  You make suggestions and you're agreeable to what other people want to do.  You choose to see things as opportunities for adventure instead of a chore.  Elena and I didn't want Dippin' Dots and we were exhausted from lack of sleep but were we up for a long walk to try to find some?  Absolutely!  And because of that agreement, we saw live bands, a guy on stilts and we watched a guy juggle on a very tall unicycle.  

If you're the person who does the research, you also jump on board for the unplanned side quest.  If you're the person who doesn't plan, you take advice from the planner seriously.  If someone needs to run 3 miles and you only wanted to run 1, you go run 3 with the group.  And yes, it means you stop for a bathroom break even when you don't need to use the bathroom.  

As it turns out, that's what makes a good community.  Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.  Everyone had different wants and needs.  Alone, we have to suffer and make adjustments because of our shortcomings.  Together we work as a unit, allowing those with strengths to rise and take the wheel, making someone else's weaknesses null and void.  Things become smoother, easier, better and more fun.  It's so hard for me to type that.  Ugh.  Freakin' community.  

Taking it just a tiny step further, having fun is a choice that you make.  It is a state of mind.  The next time you have a chore ahead, give that a thought.  It is within you to turn that chore into fun.  

So, we took our artwork on a 7 hour delivery drive and then picked it back up after the exhibit.  We spent 28 hours driving, took a lot of precious time out of our summers and paid outrageous prices for gas.  But what we'll remember years from now is how much fun we had drawing in the sand on Chesapeake Bay, walking through so much beauty at the botanical garden, getting matching henna tattoos, trying Turkish Delight, reading sketchy sayings on t-shirts and shorts in store windows, laughing together in the car and getting closer as friends.  

making fun, part 1: delivery

The parts of my life that get exhibited through social media and this blog are just a few select slices of a much bigger, uglier, more complex existence that would bore you if you were subjected to it.  Obviously, right?  We all know that public posts are very curated, it's just that sometimes we forget.  I'm a private person and what you see from me is very much intentional.  I keep a lot of things for just me.  

This summer, I had to go on a couple of long drives to deliver and pick up artwork and I made a conscious choice to make those trips as fun as possible.  These are moments I would often just keep for myself and not share with whoever reads this, but after the second trip and a couple of key conversations, the teacher in me couldn't help but want to share.  I just kept thinking there was a nugget of wisdom in there somewhere that might be good for one or two of you to read.  And if not, maybe just following along on a ridiculous adventure would be better for you than doomscrolling.  So...if you're interested, come with us on a little trip:

This part of the story is really cool for me.  Back in the spring, Cathryn and Elena (two current students), Katherine (former student, current colleague/peer) and I decided to enter a juried exhibit for sculpture.  Katherine found it and suggested it to us as a group.  Like most fun things, it started like, "hey, what if we all did this together?".  The exhibit was called "Metal Transformed" and all of us just happen to be metal sculptors.  Cathryn and Elena had just spent a year turning metal into amazing sculptures that replicated plants and other cool things.  Katherine has several amazing replications of objects in metal.  Shows like this can be expensive, but I kept thinking this was just a really good idea.  

We entered.  

One afternoon, the text thread started.  "Check your emails".  We did and one by one, we all announced to the chat that we got accepted.  I was astonished.  Not because their work isn't great, but because artists should expect a 90% rejection rate.  We were all excited and began planning how we were going to get our work all the way up to Norfolk, VA.  

With long distance exhibits, I usually enter things that are easily shipped.  If it's more than a couple of hours away, FedEx is cheaper than gas.  With several heavy steel sculptures to send, we quickly started planning a 7 hour road trip.  Heck, with this group, there was no doubt we would have fun.  I'm too old to drive 14 hours in 24 hours, so an overnight trip was necessary.  In May, we carefully packed and loaded our sculptures in the FJ and left my driveway at 6:00 am.

Our first order of business was delivering the artwork to D'Art Center in Norfolk.  This really cool and prestigious Art Center is part of a very cool cultural arts district in downtown Norfolk.  We were welcomed with a cart and access to the drop-off room.  

Cathryn couldn't make the trip with us, so we printed out a flat Cathryn and took her with us.

The Chrysler Museum of Art was literally across the street from the exhibition space and they had a wonderful collection and an exhibit by one of my favorite artists, Louise Nevelson.  

We took our time and saw all the art.  A little overwhelming, but great.  We asked the staff where we should eat and they directed us to a very cool restaurant a short walk away in a cool, historic building.  

We knew we were close to water and we're all suckers for a beach, so we made our way to the shoreline of the Chesapeake Bay just in time for sunset.  It was gorgeous.

We are all coffee lovers.  Coffee was a big part of our adventure.  Katherine and I ran past a COVA coffee and decided that would be our morning coffee stop after a free breakfast at the hotel.  We took flat Cathryn with us.

Here's an important note about the group dynamic:

Katherine is a planner.  She will do hours of research about a city before going.  She will make a Pinterest board, make lots of notes in her sketchbook and she will send you links to videos on YouTube.  When she goes somewhere new, she becomes an encyclopedia that the rest of her travel group can access.  

I fly by the seat of my pants.  I believe in the importance of learning about a place and even doing a little light reading about it, but I enjoy spontaneous adventures.  Katherine and I got to travel to Barcelona and Venice several years ago with a much larger group and she ended up being the Yang to my Yen.  

Elena is happy to tell you her opinion about things, but she is very much a person who will smile and go with the flow.  She says "yes" a lot and that's a perfect quality for a travel buddy.  

Cathryn was flat and basically did whatever we told her.

In this group, Katherine provides the lead and we begin by walking in that original direction but then we all get easily sidetracked by my whims and silliness and we end up having even more fun than we could have planned from home.  

During our first travel day, we experienced the joy of our group dynamic and had a lot of laughs and fun because of it.  Give us some sleep and some coffee (and a lot of bathroom stops) and we're happy as clams.  

So, of course, Katherine knew about the Norfolk Botanical Garden and when we asked everyone we talked to about what we needed to experience while we were in town, it kept coming up.  We had no plans after morning coffee, so we decided to check it out.

Turns out, we happened into a picturesque and perfect day.  

Even at the garden, we looked at maps, did a little research and then totally made it up as we went based on the perfect weather and the beauty of the place.

We literally stopped to smell the flowers.

And we took time to rest.  

Then we stopped again to smell the flowers.

Then we lost flat Cathryn.  I don't want to talk about it.  RIP.

The slow pace we took was also a testament to the great personalities in the group.  We all knew we had a 7 hour drive ahead of us, but we were in no hurry to leave.  We wanted to experience all we could while we were there.  We said yes to a lot of things, maybe everything, and we soaked it all up.

I love a side quest.  The whole day, we heard the noise of planes taking off and landing at the airport beside the Botanical Garden but we couldn't quite see them because of the berm.  After we walked the garden and had a magical grilled cheese and afternoon coffee at the garden, we just had to see what was on the other side of the berm.  Like little kids, we stood at the top, mesmerized by the planes and even waited to wave at one of the groups heading out.  It was so much fun.  

"Do y'all want to get a photo with that strange chicken statue at the gas station?"

"Of course!"

Based on billboards, North Carolina is famous for weed vapes and gummies.  Based on billboards, Virginia is famous for peanuts.  Tempted by the road signs, we decided we needed boiled peanuts on our drive home.  We followed the signs to a very cool little town and peanut shack only to find it closed at 5:00 pm.  We were bummed.  Still, we looked through the window and took a few photos.  We made a note that we would try to catch it open on our return trip.

Elena likes to color.  No story, she just likes to color.  

"Elena, have you ever been to South of the Border?"

"No, but I want to go."

"Sweet!"

*Swerves onto the exit ramp.

So we stopped at South of the Border, even though it was late and all the stores were closed.  The bathroom was open because "Pedro never sleeps" and neither does that bathroom attendant.  (Because according to billboards, South Carolina is famous for South of the Border.)  And we still got to walk around in the enchanting glow of neon lights and take photos with the critters.  

An hour or so later on the interstate, I watched as an oncoming car lost control and flipped several times through a road construction zone.  The adrenaline from that experience kept me wide awake until we made it home pretty late.  Well, that and the fact that good travel buddies always stay awake and make for good conversation.  We were tired and I'm sure all of our butts were sore from sitting in the car for so long, but we were all happy.  Happy to have our work exhibited together, happy to have experienced so many fun things together, and happy to be back in our beds at home.  

If you want to read about the return trip and get the moral of the story, you'll have to check back in when part two drops.  

1st and 2nd summer

The question came today.  “So, what are you doing with all your extra time this summer?”

It wasn’t aimed like a weapon.  Wasn’t intended to provoke.  Still, I could hear the tacit message.  “You have three months off of work.  What’s that like?”

Teachers who work on 9 month contracts get this question a lot.  Sometimes it’s not so much a question as it is an opportunity for the person on the 12 month contract to say “Must be nice!”

For the K-12 teacher, I’m sure there’s an overwhelming sense of rage hearing this question from a person who gets to take a half hour or even an hour lunch break where they can eat a meal without interruption, maybe even use the restroom.  It sorta sounds fair to allow a human to use the restroom whenever they need to for three months when you deprive them that freedom for nine months.  If you are not in the loop, K-12 teachers can’t leave students unattended by law and in the 3-5 minutes they have between each class period, they have to reset their rooms and stand in the door to greet students.  Peeing is not allowed, and you can absolutely forget about pooping until you get home.  

While that part is easy to point to as an infringement on a basic human right, the much more difficult part of the job is being “on” for 8-9 hours each day when you are around students and having zero breaks as you must continually assess and reassess the educational situation for each student in your room.  The mental and emotional toll is difficult to describe.

I teach legal adults and I do have the freedom to pee when I want to, but usually that’s a freedom I can make time for once during my educational day.  In the sculpture studio, I do have to be physically present much more than a non-studio professor so that I can supervise and monitor for safety.  There’s also so much emotional and educational surveying, assessing and adjusting that needs to be done.  I’m not sure how much time you spend with 18-22 year olds, but their emotional needs are very, very high.  And that’s if they’re good students who actually want to be there.  Heaven forbid you get one that is in a bad mood, is having relationship troubles, or just plain hates you and your class. 

College professors are bound by job requirements related to academic research.  What most students and non-professors don’t understand is that this academic research takes a LOT of time and energy.  Some professors have 1 hour class periods and they get to spend their office hours doing research and writing articles and books.  I can only assume they get to have weekends off and maybe they even enjoy a few vacations and weeks off during the summer.  

I more than meet my requirements for academic research every year because I love what I do.  For me, a studio art professor, academic research looks like making new artwork, applying for exhibits, grants and fellowships, and traveling to exhibit and research artwork.  And this is where you lose some people’s sympathy.

“It must be nice to get to draw some pretty pictures and call that research” is a statement I heard from a colleague who was completely out of touch.  If I’m honest, I wanted to say that from my perspective, it must be nice to sit in an air conditioned office and type an article and call that research.  I didn’t say that because I’m at least smart enough to understand that I don’t understand everything.  I’m sure their research is difficult.  I’m also sure they have no clue about how difficult it is to imagine, plan and create a new body of relevant artwork.  

Creative research takes a level of focus that is tough to maintain during the semester.  For many professors, this forces them to choose between teaching and creating.  Some choose to pull back from classes and focus more attention on their own work.  Others choose to prioritize their students and just make art when they can.  I take a lot of pride in my teaching and I love my students, so while I do create artwork throughout the calendar year, much of my annual creative output comes during May, June and July.  

My answer to the question about what I’m doing in the summer is typically one word, “working”.  Am I getting up at 5:00 am to run in the dark?  Heck no.  I’m definitely sleeping to at least 7:30 am and taking my time having my really good coffee and my kid’s breakfast cereal.  Am I stressing about what I’m doing that day?  Heck no, I’m cool as a cucumber and my blood pressure is low.  But let me assure you, I AM working.  

Probably harder than you.

I mean, unless you do a lot of physical labor every day.  I’m not out here competing with roofers in the summer, but I am putting in hours of physical labor along with the more difficult to measure intellectual labor, the latter of which may just keep me up in the middle of the night because my brain doesn’t want to stop thinking.  

I think I’ve made 5 new large drawings on wood since classes ended.  We did a sand sculpture competition (that would have given summer roofers a run for their physical money).  I made new work for the Summer Studio Sale.  I’ve delivered and installed public sculptures and driven 7 hours one way to drop off artwork.  I’ve been busy this summer.

In a few weeks, I’ll return to campus and I’ll pass a professor in another department in the hall or I’ll sit with them in a meeting.  They’ll smile and ask how my summer was.  I’ll smile and say it was nice.  It was.   But not because I did nothing for 3 months.  Not because I relaxed on a beach for 3 months.  Not because teaching is easy and teachers “get summers off”.  

It will have been nice because I love what I do and I’m happy when I’m teaching and I’m also happy when I’m 100% focused on making new artwork.  

Now that my Summer Studio Sale is over and much of my home has returned to its normal state, I plan to enjoy my 2nd summer.  1st summer is the last half of May and most of June.  That’s when most of the new artwork was created.  Then it takes a few weeks to prepare for and to host the Studio Sale.  With that behind me, I can once again focus on making new drawings and planning a new outdoor sculpture.  I have to make that 7 hour drive a couple more times to pick up artwork and I also have a couple of solo exhibits I need to submit proposals and information for.  All of that needs to happen during 2nd summer, before classes begin in mid-August.  

Compartmentalization is one of my superpowers but I’d be lying if I left you to believe that I don’t think about school during the summer.  There’s honestly not a day that passes when I don’t think about upcoming projects and opportunities for students.  I’ve already been ordering materials for projects and planning when two of my students are going to be working on a commission.  I’m teaching 2D Design again this fall so I’ve been thinking about how I will meet the incoming freshmen where they are without scaring them away.  I’ve also been thinking about the students I haven’t quite cracked open yet.  Is there still time?  Do I still have hope?  How much effort will I be able to give them beyond the baseline?  Can I put Tony the Tiger in my new drawing?  Will the neighborhood black bear eat me on one of my runs?  Can I get up the nerve to ask that person if they will model for a drawing?  Why is this hawk walking around on the ground digging?  Sorry.  There’s a lot going on.