Several years ago, a person gave me a few guidelines for how to post on Instagram. I adamantly rejected them and openly scoffed at the idea that anyone would tell me how to run my Instagram account. I do what I want.
Having said that, there are IG trends that I don’t like. I’m not telling you how to run your account, I’m just saying I don’t like it. This whole thing of not posting anything for weeks and then doing a multi-slide “dump” is annoying. Why deny us the regular update if you’re going to give us all the photos anyway? I don’t want to binge your month in 5 seconds. Let me enjoy your photos when they’re actually relevant.
Comedy should be funny. That shouldn’t be a hot take. Imagine going to a concert and the singer comes out and decides they’re just going to tell stories and not sing this time. Ridiculous right? I watch a lot of stand-up comedy and I carefully avoided the ones a few years ago who used their comedy special to overshare and focus on heavier topics while forgetting their one job was to make people laugh. Last week I put on two Netfilx comedy specials and turned them off within 5 minutes. I’m ready for comedy to be funny again.
Why are there Instagram reels and Tiktok videos of people watching other Instagram reels and Tiktok videos? You raising your eyebrows at a funny video is supposed to entertain me? What’s wrong with people?
Here’s a few things about Jesus that I think every Christian should know:
1. Jesus was Jewish
2. Jesus wasn’t American
3. Jesus wasn’t a politician
If you’re the type of person who thinks that you should be voting your personal religious beliefs in elections, then I think you should have to pass a test about those religious beliefs. A large group of Christians who are apparently unable to think for themselves are being taken advantage of by scheming politicians. Sure, there’s a large group of political people running for office and trying to influence us while saying they’re Christian and that they are promoting Christian and Biblical values. The trouble is, there’s literally zero evidence to support what they say they represent. You don’t even have to look hard into their personal lives to see splintered families, vulgar behavior, coarse language and a general lack of loving-kindness. Please stop blindly following every politician who says they love God. Also, please stop giving the rest of us a bad name. Y’all, I hate to break this to you, but America isn’t even in the Bible. No, that thing in the book of Revelation isn't about you. Context is important.
If you think we’re just dealing with inflation and not corporate greed, please don’t talk to me or my dogs ever again.
The weather is ridiculous. We haven’t had measurable snow here in several years and I’ve had my air conditioning on for three days and it’s still January. We probably broke the Earth. I'll admit that I may have burned some things I shouldn't have when I was a kid, but I'm blaming y'all for the rest of it.
Saturday night, I bought my first pair of old-people glasses so I can see what I’m drawing. This means that I need contacts to see past my elbow, but anything closer than my elbow also requires old-people glasses to be in focus. Presumably there’s some distance where everything would be in focus without any corrective lenses but I have yet to find it. Carrots are a lie.
Hey 20 year old kid giving advice on social media…how about don’t. You’re telling me the best way to keep my house clear of clutter and the best way I can fuel my long run? Dude. I’ve got underwear with more life experience than you. Shut it. Go live a little and get back to me. You wanna know why you can keep your apartment clutter free? Because you don’t have kids, three dogs, four jobs, a leaky basement and a crazy schedule. Your "life hacks" are stupid, you just don't have the experience to realize it yet. You want to provide a real service? Go fetch my old-people glasses so I can tell Instagram not to show me your nonsense anymore.
There. I feel better getting all that out.
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