superfriends

The year was 2010.  I was working on finishing up my first semester of full time teaching while they were working on their first semester of college.  It wasn’t until January of 2011 that we met officially.  They entered the sculpture studio to take 3D Design and I met Brandy, the smiley one, Katie, the quiet one, Sean, the sarcastic one and Ashley, the even more sarcastic one*.  They were fast friends, all noting that each brought an important element to the circle of friends.  

The “trauma” of being a first year art major and suffering through my classes strengthened their bond as they began to realize I wasn’t actually the devil and we started enjoying extracurricular activities together.  The art events often ended up at Millhouse for dinner.  The Moonshine Run and Color Run 5Ks were done together and typically turned into a Cookout trip for greasy food and milkshakes to recover.  When Sean and Ashley took the racquetball class and hoped to defeat me, they started inviting me to play during the afternoons.  Sean and I took turns trying to hit each other with the ball and soon Brandy joined in.  Once she even grazed the side of my head with her racquet, drawing blood.  No remorse whatsoever.  Katie was happy to be safe on the other side of the window filming the whole thing.  

One of the Moonshine Runs (2013) featuring the artist formerly known as Singletary and Slagle

The trauma-bonding continued through many of our highest highs and lowest lows through graduation.  When I won a teaching award, they were the first ones to make fun of the low standards for that award.  When I crashed the wheelchair trying to win a 5K, it was Brandy who played “Everybody Hurts” on her car stereo on the way to get food, a brilliant move that opened the floodgates of jokes at my expense.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m just as quick to turn the verbal weapons on them.  It’s a dance that we do, everyone playing their part in the greater performance.  When at our best, the group is like a well-oiled machine and the jokes are funnier than anything you’ve ever heard in standup comedy.  At our worst, we’re still funnier than your friends.

The 2014 infamous Color Run featuring Colleen, before photo, of course.

I have no idea what's going on but....typical

After graduation, the four of them drove towards their hometowns and got adult jobs and adult responsibilities but every once in a while, they’d drive back to Greenwood to hang out.  Much more often, someone would start a group text thread out of the blue and you’d check your phone fifteen minutes later to find 50+ messages, each funnier than the one before it.

And then, just when you needed it most, there would be a thing planned.  Someone would suggest a hangout or we’d end up attending the same event.  The 5 of us would gravitate to the same area and the laughing would begin.  Familiar stories would be repeated, funny themes revisited, and the energy between us would glow.

I’ve been teaching long enough to know that every student isn’t really my friend.  Out of all the students I teach, only some will naturally gravitate towards my personality and my teaching style.  Of that group, only a fraction would ever want to have a conversation with me outside of class.  Of that even smaller group, I would only break my sacred hermitude for a select few.  Now we’re down to a fraction of people and many of those are only interested in me as long as I can be a benefit to them.  Many, especially in recent years, have attempted to use my friendship to be more comfortable in the department, to get a good reference, or to use my network in the art world.  The day after graduation, I’m no one to them.  I’ve learned to pay close attention to the ones who come around when I can offer them nothing but my company.  Those are the real ones.  

I am a pretty positive person by choice.  I actively look for the bright side and I have a pretty fair and honest perception of myself as a teacher.  I’m a good teacher.  I care about my students and their success.  With that in mind, it’s odd that I find myself at the end of every academic year more drained, more tired and more discouraged.  There’s a laundry list of reasons I could provide, but the point here is that even the most positive person can get down and it’s likely the ones you’d never suspect.  

Ashley, Brandy and I were standing in the waiting space at the restaurant when Sean and Katie walked in.  There were hugs and instantly we were in conversation.  It was almost as if someone fast forwarded several minutes.  By the time I noticed, I felt like I had to run to catch up.  As one person talked, the other 4 would pepper them with jokes, comments and questions.  Each person would adjust to the new verbal landscape and quickly offer new information.  It’s like 5 people playing a “choose your own adventure” game all at once.  Everyone gets aboard the conversation and hangs on for dear life.  

The laughter was immediate and almost constant.  You’ve had the time with a friend when your cheeks hurt afterwards, right?  That happened in the first five minutes.  Soon the abs hurt.  Then the laughing (for me) turned to coughing, (for Ashley) crying, (for Katie) inflamed asthma, (for Brandy) a little hooting and (for Sean) a little hollering.  I can’t even begin to imagine what the other people in the restaurant were thinking.  I had no idea they were even there, honestly.  Our waitress started out very talkative and wanting to be a part of our night and soon she faded way back into the background, trying not to even interrupt us as we gasped our way through the night.  

Pretty sure this one captures our true souls.

From a table away, it must have looked like five people yukking it up for the holidays.  The truth is, beneath that veneer of laughter and jokes, there was a real friendship conversation happening.  People caring about other people.  People helping other people.  People learning from other people.  People sharing with other people.  I left feeling like a part of something bigger.  I was energized.  I felt loved.  Is that what emotions feel like??

As I drove home, I thought about how grateful I am for this group of friends that I also happened to have taught back in the day.  I was reminded of the importance of my interactions with students and the lasting relationships that can grow from those interactions.  Each of us has a part to play in a much larger production and each of our parts is equally important.  Like the old cartoon Superfriends, all of our different powers are needed to defeat the bad guys in our lives.  I hope we can all be the Aquaman to someone else’s Hawkman.  The Zan to someone else’s Jayna (look it up).

I love these people.

*I’ve chosen to use real names out of the deepest respect.  Do not worry, the nicknames are still in daily usage and are used with absolute love.  Also, we missed you Anne!