trying to remember the year

It hardly seems like it's been 12 months since the last time I tried to remember the last 12 months, yet here we are, taking a look back before we start looking forward.  2023 was a really good year on a lot of different fronts.  Since this is my blog, I get to be the main character here, so what follows is a brief, very self-centered look at what I can remember about my year.  If you're interested, here we go.  None of this is in any particular order, which seems to match the jumbled up memories I have of the year.

I looked up this year and Blue was an adult.  He was driving, he had a job, he had a life outside of the house and he went to prom.  He will graduate high school in May.  Dang.

I got to see Tom and Kathe Stanley a few times this year.  Tom had an exhibit at Lander last January and I got to spend a little time with them when he delivered work, did an artist talk and when he picked up work.  I even got to have a coffee with them.  Even cooler than that, they surprised me in August by showing up to a reception in Chapel Hill and hanging out with me so I wouldn't be completely awkward and alone.  Very cool.

Violet and I got to meet our Instagram friend Kasha Speas in real life!  Kasha has a 7+ year runstreak going, and back in February? she ran the Greenville Half Marathon.  Violet and I drove up to cheer her on.  Nice photo by her husband, Adam.

Violet and I also got to go see Beetlejuice at the Peace Center.  Very entertaining and a fun day.

I don't get to go to many track and field meets because of my class schedule but I did get to go to a couple last year and see Blue throw heavy things and see Violet sprint.  It's super cool to see how much they've both improved in such a short time.

Violet was in the school production of The Wizard of Oz and she did great.

We took an alternate vacation at the end of July and turned it into an adventure.  These two are always up for my ridiculous suggestions of things to do.  This was a quiet evening when we had no plans.  We just walked out the door and started exploring the island while chasing the sunset.  It doesn't need to be a big event to be memorable.

This was probably the same trip.  We had some fun walking around Charleston in search of food and coffee.

I wrote about the significance of running with Blue and Violet as a summer highlight because it was a very cool thing.  When the Cross Country season started officially in August, they both did so great.  This was Blue's final season of Cross Country and I'm so proud of him for running.  I may not get him to run with me again, but it was cool sharing a season of running with them both.  It was also noteworthy that Violet worked really hard all season to improve her time and her hard work paid off when she qualified to run State.  Very proud of them both.

Violet and I got to go to Creighton Barrett's solo show in Charleston back in January.  It was great to talk to him for a while and then we got to have dinner with Jana and Dan.

We didn't get to go to a lot of concerts this year, but the ones we did go to were really good ones.  We scored tickets to Highwater from Anne and Kevin, so Violet and I spent a couple of days in Charleston hanging out and listening to music we may not have otherwise saw live.  We accidentally saw one of the guys from Needtobreathe and also accidentally saw Big Boi without realizing who he was.  We saw Bleachers on purpose and got the surprise of them bringing out Lana Del Rey.  The Wilco set was perfect and Shovels and Rope never disappoint.  We also accidentally saw Kevin, Ali (pictured) Smoak and a few other friends.  I wasn't a fan of the $11 waters, but we'll focus on the positives.

Nothing could be more positive than Mrs. Emmette beating cancer this year.  Everyone's favorite Starbucks barrista got a bad test result last winter and spent the year doing chemotherapy and radiation.  We were thrilled to get the news this fall that she was cancer free and finished with all her treatments.  She is such a bright light and we are grateful. Thanks to everyone who contributed to her gift.

Concert 2 of 2 this year:  Taylor Freaking Swift.  I'm sure I blogged about it so you can read it there.  It was, of course, as awesome as everyone said it was, but the part that made it even more awesome for me is that the tickets were given to me by a student.  What an act of kindness.  So grateful for that!

I got to spend time with people in surprising ways this year.  As a hermit, this is hard to process, but I admit it was cool.  I got the opportunity to do a sand sculpture workshop with Fort Dorchester High and some of my students who had traveled on Sand Sculpture trips in the past, decided to plan to go with me.  The plans turned into a wonderful opportunity to stay with Chick Inn on Main in Summerville where Hannah got to hold that chicken.  

The next day I got to lead the workshop on Kiawah Island with this cool group of people.  

One of our goofy adventures on our real vacation was tracking down the tunnel underneath Ocean Boulevard.  Thanks to Blue and Violet using the internet and TikTok, we jumped out of the car, walked under and then got picked back up by G when we emerged.

And another goofy adventure was staying up until midnight to have our own listening party for one of the TSwift albums that dropped this year.  Here we are showing off my Father's Day haul of gifts and torturing the dogs.

Another cool thing that was gifted to me was this opportunity to show work at a special event at the Greenville County Museum of Art.  This was one of the cool opportunities that came to me this year by the Universe just smiling on me.  

This was one of many great art things that happened to me this year.  I got into 12 shows I applied for, including getting public sculptures into the North Charleston Outdoor Sculpture Exhibit and the new Uproar! exhibit in Chapel Hill.  I made a few new sculptures despite some really irritating welder problems and I made over 30 new drawings.  So grateful for these kinds of things.

My girl-gang.  This hardcore group of friends was forged during Brinana and Katherine's senior year of the BFA and Emily's first year of the MFA.  They were my 3D people during that year and our classes and studio times overlapped.  Because of that, our times for goofing off also overlapped.  We've tried to keep the group together as Emily graduated and the other two started pursuing their own graduate degrees.  They were all kind enough to come to my community lecture in the fall and we took the opportunity to get dinner afterwards.  They're so cool and I'm lucky to be in their group.

Another year of knowing Jana and Dan makes me very happy.  I'm so fortunate to know them and call them friends.  I got to see them a few times this year in person and we also had some laughs by text.  They're so great and these two groups of friends are just a sampling of so many wonderful people I got to spend time with this year.  I have too many photos to feature everyone here but I'll mention a few that come to mind.  I saw Jocelyn a few times, both on purpose and by accident.  I went out of my way to see Kennedy in Charleston and she came to Summerville to hang out with a bunch of us.  Just on that one trip to Summerville, I spent time with Hannah, Ashley, Katherine, Abigail, Victor, Jana, Dan, and Tien.  Or maybe that was two trips?  Who knows.  I got to have lunch with Cessquatch, coffee with Katertot, and got to have dinner with the whole Superfriends gang.  There's also a crazy-awesome group of students that I get to see on a weekly basis.  Most of them provide me with laughter and joy and they have no idea.  I wouldn't dare try to list them all but I do try to make sure they know I appreciate them from time to time.  If you're a student and you're reading this, I'm talking about you.  It really pains me to say this, but I really love being around people sometimes.  

This was the year we discovered Pineapple Whip.  I think that's what it's called.  Whatever it is that we're all holding is amazing.  We found it on Folly Island and also in Charleston and it's almost worth the 2.5 hour drive just for that.  No, the stuff you can buy in the freezer section at home is not the same at all.  Just know that if you go get some while in Charleston without the whole family, the absent ones will be pissed.  I haven't made that mistake yet, but I'm sure it will happen.

I got to be the guest artist at the Blackwater Boogie again this year.  Dan invited me back after last year and I felt a little more prepared this time.  I had to go on my own for the first day because Violet had to run the State Cross Country meet in Columbia, but she joined me for the second day.  Knowing what I was getting into this time made it a little less panicky and it was so cool being able to share my process with the crowd of people behind me.  All four drawings were auctioned off to raise money for Givhans Ferry State Park accessibility upgrades.

So that's what I can remember from scrolling through my photos for the year.  I've edited out some really cool and fun things and I've probably forgotten about a lot more.  If you were a part of my year, I appreciate you.

 

the numbers are in

As I type, there’s still a week left in 2023 but all of the art places are closed for the Holidays and the only outstanding entries I have left are scheduled to notify in January.  It looks like the working year is over so let’s have a closer look at the numbers.

25 rejections compared to 12 acceptances.  That’s at least the starting point but since you can use numbers and data to say anything you want, I’d like to look at the entire picture so that I’m not misleading in any way.

First, does this mean I applied to 37 shows/opportunities this year?  No.  The number is actually a little higher, but some notifications will not come until the new year so they will not be counted on the 2023 list.  But still, that’s a lot of applications.  And if you consider that 90% of them had an entry fee of $25-$45, that’s around $1,000 spent just on entering shows, so it’s a lot of applications and it’s a lot of money.  

Second, what kind of applications are we talking about here?  Many were applications to national level juried exhibits.  These charge $35-$45 and allow you to enter 2-3 works of art for consideration.  This generally involves uploading digital images of the artwork along with an artist statement, bio and a CV.  On the best sites, this will take 15 minutes, including paying by card.  On the worst sites, it may take an hour.  I appreciate galleries and museums who use CallForEntry.org or Slideroom.  Some applications were for solo exhibitions or for grants/fellowships.  These take a little more time as they have to be customized for each venue and for each unique set of requirements.  If you have your stuff together, you can do this in an hour

Third, does this mean I was in 12 shows this year?  No.  Some of the things I was accepted into will occur on the 2024 calendar year.  I think one was even for 2025.  

Fourth, am I sad?  Quite the opposite actually.  When I posted a new rejection throughout the year, many of my kind friends would send a sad face or express disgust with anyone who would reject me.  That was super nice of them but I wasn’t really sad.  At least not 5 minutes after the rejection.  Actually, that’s not totally true for all of them.  It did burn extra bad to get rejected from the Winthrop Alumni show.  I was not a scrub when I was there and I’ve been pretty successful since leaving, so I thought I had a good shot at getting in.  I totally did the comparison thing when I saw what was accepted and I judged things harshly, but I got over it.  It just took more than 5 minutes.  Either way, going 12 for 25 on the year is pretty amazing.  I had a lot to be grateful for in the art world.  

Fifth, should I explain that more?  Yes, I should.  Any artist applying for exhibits and opportunities should expect a lot of rejection.  It is part of the daily life of an artist.  I teach my students to expect a 90% rejection rate.  Apply for 10 shows and expect to get in 1.  Some artists I know don’t even get that.  This is just getting into a show, we’re not even talking about any awards.  I know many artists who have never won an award of any sort.  I think I got some sort of merit award this year, so 12 letters of acceptance and an award?  That’s great.  Well above the expectation.  If you apply to 10 shows and get accepted once, you should feel really good about yourself.  Anything above that 10% is a bonus.  

Sixth, what’s hidden by these numbers?  When I started the list at the beginning of the year, I thought it would be accurate to track just rejections and acceptances.  My assumption was that I would apply for all the things and just keep track of the notifications.  I did that and did it well.  The thing I didn’t really plan for was how to track things that just happened without me applying.  This isn’t a thing that happens regularly, but from time to time, someone will have an open exhibition date or be trying to fill a calendar and they’ll contact an artist to see if they’re interested in showing.  Since I didn’t know to track this, I didn’t write it down and at my age, the brain is pretty full so unless I know it’s important, we just discard those memories immediately.  A few months ago I could remember between 5 and 7 things like this happening through the year.  Some of these events occurred this year and some will happen in upcoming years.  At this point, there may have been 10 or so of these things that just happened to me without applying for anything.  So there’s a lot more success than what shows up on paper.  These are more reasons to not be sad.  

There’s also artwork sales to consider.  I’ve sold a decent amount of things this year which means that someone liked my work well enough to invest in it and to live with it on a daily basis.  I probably don’t even think about this enough, but if you consider that someone chooses to wake up and see your work in their home every day, that’s sort of a big deal.  

The other consideration is positive comments.  This is also something I probably don’t think about enough, but sometimes people say really nice, encouraging things.  This year, I was told I was “brilliant”, “amazing”, “extraordinary” and “crazy” and I think they meant crazy in a good way.  Several people told me in passing that they loved my work or that they were “fans”.  Sure, you could argue that some of these are just happy talk but remember, if you believe the bad, you have to believe the good too.  I definitely let the bad comments linger, so I need to let the good ones linger too.  All of these things make the rejections a tiny bit better.

Seventh, is it painful to be rejected 25 times?  Of course.  It always stings.  In the moment, I feel judged as a failure.  For that 5 minutes, I feel that my art is not good and that everyone hates me.  Luckily, the old man brain helps me forget things quickly so after 5 minutes, I’m usually good.  If you’re wondering if it gets any easier, I don’t think it does.  You get better at dealing with it, but a no is always a no.  

So there’s that.  If you’re an artist, you get it.  If not, I appreciate you reading this to understand better.  Many people think that artists just live this romantic life of doing what they want to do all day.  I don’t know a single artist who does that.  Most people outside of art never have to consider what it’s like to make something with all your heart and to immediately have that thing judged as good or bad, worthy or unworthy.  It’s tough out here for a thug.  Artin’ ain’t easy.

superfriends

The year was 2010.  I was working on finishing up my first semester of full time teaching while they were working on their first semester of college.  It wasn’t until January of 2011 that we met officially.  They entered the sculpture studio to take 3D Design and I met Brandy, the smiley one, Katie, the quiet one, Sean, the sarcastic one and Ashley, the even more sarcastic one*.  They were fast friends, all noting that each brought an important element to the circle of friends.  

The “trauma” of being a first year art major and suffering through my classes strengthened their bond as they began to realize I wasn’t actually the devil and we started enjoying extracurricular activities together.  The art events often ended up at Millhouse for dinner.  The Moonshine Run and Color Run 5Ks were done together and typically turned into a Cookout trip for greasy food and milkshakes to recover.  When Sean and Ashley took the racquetball class and hoped to defeat me, they started inviting me to play during the afternoons.  Sean and I took turns trying to hit each other with the ball and soon Brandy joined in.  Once she even grazed the side of my head with her racquet, drawing blood.  No remorse whatsoever.  Katie was happy to be safe on the other side of the window filming the whole thing.  

One of the Moonshine Runs (2013) featuring the artist formerly known as Singletary and Slagle

The trauma-bonding continued through many of our highest highs and lowest lows through graduation.  When I won a teaching award, they were the first ones to make fun of the low standards for that award.  When I crashed the wheelchair trying to win a 5K, it was Brandy who played “Everybody Hurts” on her car stereo on the way to get food, a brilliant move that opened the floodgates of jokes at my expense.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m just as quick to turn the verbal weapons on them.  It’s a dance that we do, everyone playing their part in the greater performance.  When at our best, the group is like a well-oiled machine and the jokes are funnier than anything you’ve ever heard in standup comedy.  At our worst, we’re still funnier than your friends.

The 2014 infamous Color Run featuring Colleen, before photo, of course.

I have no idea what's going on but....typical

After graduation, the four of them drove towards their hometowns and got adult jobs and adult responsibilities but every once in a while, they’d drive back to Greenwood to hang out.  Much more often, someone would start a group text thread out of the blue and you’d check your phone fifteen minutes later to find 50+ messages, each funnier than the one before it.

And then, just when you needed it most, there would be a thing planned.  Someone would suggest a hangout or we’d end up attending the same event.  The 5 of us would gravitate to the same area and the laughing would begin.  Familiar stories would be repeated, funny themes revisited, and the energy between us would glow.

I’ve been teaching long enough to know that every student isn’t really my friend.  Out of all the students I teach, only some will naturally gravitate towards my personality and my teaching style.  Of that group, only a fraction would ever want to have a conversation with me outside of class.  Of that even smaller group, I would only break my sacred hermitude for a select few.  Now we’re down to a fraction of people and many of those are only interested in me as long as I can be a benefit to them.  Many, especially in recent years, have attempted to use my friendship to be more comfortable in the department, to get a good reference, or to use my network in the art world.  The day after graduation, I’m no one to them.  I’ve learned to pay close attention to the ones who come around when I can offer them nothing but my company.  Those are the real ones.  

I am a pretty positive person by choice.  I actively look for the bright side and I have a pretty fair and honest perception of myself as a teacher.  I’m a good teacher.  I care about my students and their success.  With that in mind, it’s odd that I find myself at the end of every academic year more drained, more tired and more discouraged.  There’s a laundry list of reasons I could provide, but the point here is that even the most positive person can get down and it’s likely the ones you’d never suspect.  

Ashley, Brandy and I were standing in the waiting space at the restaurant when Sean and Katie walked in.  There were hugs and instantly we were in conversation.  It was almost as if someone fast forwarded several minutes.  By the time I noticed, I felt like I had to run to catch up.  As one person talked, the other 4 would pepper them with jokes, comments and questions.  Each person would adjust to the new verbal landscape and quickly offer new information.  It’s like 5 people playing a “choose your own adventure” game all at once.  Everyone gets aboard the conversation and hangs on for dear life.  

The laughter was immediate and almost constant.  You’ve had the time with a friend when your cheeks hurt afterwards, right?  That happened in the first five minutes.  Soon the abs hurt.  Then the laughing (for me) turned to coughing, (for Ashley) crying, (for Katie) inflamed asthma, (for Brandy) a little hooting and (for Sean) a little hollering.  I can’t even begin to imagine what the other people in the restaurant were thinking.  I had no idea they were even there, honestly.  Our waitress started out very talkative and wanting to be a part of our night and soon she faded way back into the background, trying not to even interrupt us as we gasped our way through the night.  

Pretty sure this one captures our true souls.

From a table away, it must have looked like five people yukking it up for the holidays.  The truth is, beneath that veneer of laughter and jokes, there was a real friendship conversation happening.  People caring about other people.  People helping other people.  People learning from other people.  People sharing with other people.  I left feeling like a part of something bigger.  I was energized.  I felt loved.  Is that what emotions feel like??

As I drove home, I thought about how grateful I am for this group of friends that I also happened to have taught back in the day.  I was reminded of the importance of my interactions with students and the lasting relationships that can grow from those interactions.  Each of us has a part to play in a much larger production and each of our parts is equally important.  Like the old cartoon Superfriends, all of our different powers are needed to defeat the bad guys in our lives.  I hope we can all be the Aquaman to someone else’s Hawkman.  The Zan to someone else’s Jayna (look it up).

I love these people.

*I’ve chosen to use real names out of the deepest respect.  Do not worry, the nicknames are still in daily usage and are used with absolute love.  Also, we missed you Anne!