Sunday, April 7, 2019

let's have fun with plaster!

Plaster pouring day sneaks up on you during the spring semester.  You're busy looking at the weather to see if it's going to be 80 degrees or 20 degrees and all of the sudden you walk into the 3D room and there's plastic all over the floor.

You think you're prepared.  You taped up your mold inside and out.  Even though the professor told you not to tape up the inside.  Maybe you used pink duct tape.  Or unicorn tape.  You're confident.  But the professor has that look on his face that you've seen before.  It's like he knows something is about to happen.  Something he didn't tell you.  You're pretty sure you hate him.

You even volunteer to go first.  Might as well get it out of the way, right?  Now he's smiling.  You really don't like him right now.  He's getting louder.  He "WOOOOOOOO"ed a couple of times really loud.  You're starting to get uneasy.  Is he crazy?  Like actually unhinged?  He's still got that look on his face but now it's bigger somehow.  Crazier.  You start to think about your grade.  Do you really need a college degree?

When he slices the first bag of plaster open it seems almost violent.  Two quick slashes and he's dumping the dry, white powder into a bucket of water.  As the white cloud of dust rises around his face you're now certain he's the Devil.  Not any of the lesser imps or demons, the actual Devil.  His eyes glow red through the plaster dust.  You need to pee.  And you wonder of vomiting would make you feel better.  

The plaster thickens in the bucket as one of your friends mixes with both hands.  Plaster is covering their arms past the elbows.  It's splashed up onto their face and into their hair.  The professor just stands there smiling.  Almost cackling.  You wonder if you'll survive.

A piercing "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" erupts from the lungs of the professor as he grabs the 5 gallon bucket of plaster and tilts it toward your head.  This is gonna be bad.  The first drops go into the mold.  Your pulse quickens.  At least half a gallon has gone in.  No leaks.  You're feeling good.  You might pass.  You might get a degree.

You're pretty sure that dripping plaster is just from when the professor missed the opening for a second.  It's running down the outside.  Right?  It's not leaking.  Is it leaking?  Why is it still dripping.  Now there's a puddle under you.  Was that there before?  Is it growing?  It's leaking.  It's definitely leaking.  The puddle is growing.  The plaster is leaking out faster than the professor can pour it in.

You're gonna fail for sure.  Is there even any plaster inside your mold?  The other people around you are gonna fail too.  Yours isn't leaking as bad as theirs.  Is everyone's going to leak?  Who is this professor?  Why is he enjoying this?  He's really enjoying this.  You really hate him.  

The plaster hardened.  You can feel that your mold is full.  Maybe.  It's over.  You didn't fail.  You have plaster in your hair.  Some in your eye.  Maybe in your ears.  You're coated in plaster from the waist down.  You look like you were dipped in it.  You catch yourself laughing.  Why are you laughing?  Did you just "WOOOOOOOOOO!"?  What's even happening right now?  Oh man, that dude's whole project just collapsed.  You're laughing hard now.  He's totally gonna fail.  Wait, are you enjoying this?  You're so confused.  But it really is funny.  Even the dude is laughing now.  What's going on?  Is this fun?  

You're pretty sure it was fun.  You may have even enjoyed it.  I mean, who knows if you'll be able to make a project out of this but that process was hilarious.  You'd consider doing it again.  You know you'd do it again.  But wait, calm down, you're not a "3D person".  But did you see the giant hole in that mold where the girl forgot to tape one whole side?  That was great!  You think you even have an idea of how you can make yours better.  The rest of this project might not be so bad.  The rest of this semester might not be so bad.  You wonder if it's ok to enjoy this.  Maybe you are a 3D person?  Or maybe you'll just take some more classes and see what happens.  

That's pretty much how it goes.  Here's some photographic evidence to support...

 mixing that first bucket

 pouring the first mold

 1 minute in.  Disaster




 "Wait, you knew this was going to happen?"

 Yes, Chanel, I knew this was going to happen.

 the after photo.  and a clean Savannah

 clean up

 next class





 last group

 controlled chaos


 using the outdoor shower

trying to recover the studio

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