This afternoon as I walked across a long parking lot toward my truck I felt a strange presence. I could hear a car creeping up beside me. As the mysterious car approached it slowed to keep pace with me. The window slowly slid down. Like you, I completely expected to see the barrel of a gun pointing out the window. I'd hear a few loud "pops", I'd roll into a ball and duck behind the closest car to check myself for holes.
But as I turned my head to confront my impending doom I did not see a long black car with dark window tints. Instead it was a tiny white VW bug with Emily Berry inside it. Instead of the rifle barrel it was her squinted eyes pointed directly at me. Her face wore a sinister smile that seemed to say, "Gotcha".
As I approached the building the day after my birthday I found bright yellow posters on the entrance doors asking who's birthday it was. Just inside those doors was a large poster with a goofy photo of me with letters to indicate "this guy". Black balloons were all over the sculpture room and wood shop....and then that mess up there on my office door.
Implicated in this matter along with E-Berry are Ali Hammond, Ginger Morrow, and -shock of a lifetime- sweet and innocent Sarah Craft.
My vengeance will be swift and thorough.
-But thanks. It was nice.
Sunrise over the plantation this morning