Tuesday, July 23, 2024

sirius-ly



We’ve reached the part of summer where, in terms of social media, I’m sure I’m just as sick of me as you are.  The summer studio sale happens around the 20th of July and there’s a big Instagram build-up around that event.  There’s also a big build-up of activity around the house for that event as well.  When the day arrives and humans who do not live here enter my fortress of hermitude, I’m just about maxed out on people and things.  What I want to do is crawl into a hole and be quiet for a month.  What I have to do is work for a week to return all the art things back into storage, wrapped inside their own fortress of bubble wrap, and continue to function as a human with cross country practices, appointments and everyday chores.  

I am active on Instagram.  If you want to know what’s going on with me personally and professionally, that’s the place to go.  I do live a hermit’s life on purpose and I love a good summer day when I don’t have to leave my property.  I will, however, post my normal stuff on IG.  But, dang y’all, I get so sick of me sometimes.  

I have accepted the fact that as an artist, I am my own PR firm.  If something is going on with my creative work, you will only know about it if I tell you.  I’m not great at it, but I do it.  I post about shows, new work, receptions and stuff.  I am also a proud teacher and I will post about the joys and successes of my students.  Just these two things would keep my social media presence pretty active.  But I also have a couple of amazing kids, two great dogs and a lot of blooming plants that contemporary social society would say need to be posted.  I’m also a big believer in the importance of physical fitness and I post about my love of running in the hopes of inspiring at least one person each year to go for a run or be a more fit person.  That’s a lot.  Too much, honestly.  

Everyone knows the toll of the death scroll.  The late at night (and perhaps middle of the day) endless thumb scroll through social media.  It rots your brain, fuels jealousy and feelings of inadequacy.  It also keeps you idle, inactive and uncreative.  It is certainly a tool of demons.  Maybe a lesser known evil is spending more than 30 seconds each day having to think of what you will post to promote whatever area is up next in line, your personal life, your career, your students, etc.  

You can probably tell that I don’t spend much more than 30 seconds thinking of what to post.  If something is cool or inspiring, I’ll post it or create the draft to post later.  No big deal.  When I run, I’ll post a pic and a couple of hashtags.  I couldn’t dream of editing a photo or laboring over the caption.  At least one of you is laughing and thinking that maybe I should.  I get it.  

Maybe all that is fine.  I have worked to thoughtfully create a balance of my use of IG so that I’m using it as a tool more than it’s using me as a tool.  I love being able to stay at least somewhat in the life loops of students I had years ago while allowing everyone to see glimpses into my life.  I also see how IG intentionally feeds me images and words.  I admit I’ve made purchases through Meta in the last few months.  I’m not proud.  

But I still get sick of me.  I get sick of posting about myself.  So I run, big whoop.  You don’t care.  Oh I made a new thing.  So what?  I hate blowing my own horn.  I hate the feeling of conceit that comes with being your own PR manager.  I hate having to self-promote.  I hate the feeling of having to share things.  It’s all anti-hermit life and I hate it.  


Even as I type this, I hate it.  Why should you get to know what I’m thinking?  Even this very filtered version of my thoughts feels intrusive at this point in the summer.  Maybe it’s just hot.  It’s not lost on me that we’re in the “dog days of summer”.  

Every summer in late July someone will ask me what I want to eat for dinner and I’ll realize I don’t care.  I don’t really even care if I eat.  It’s too hot, too humid.  Nothing tastes great and eating feels like a chore.  If I walk outside, just walk outside, I sweat through my shirt.  I love being outside but right now, outside is gross.  Everything is gross and covered in sweat.


So I want to disappear.  But I can’t.  Because if I’m one thing, I’m consistent.  You’re going to see a butt drawing every Monday.  You’re going to see a running post every morning.  You’re going to see how great my students are doing because most of that is more deserving of your thumb scroll than the crap you’re usually seeing.  If I see one more suggested video of some moron watching a video and making a surprised reaction face, I’m going to crawl into the meta-verse and slap somebody.  


Like I said.  It’s hot.  Sorry y'all.

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