the summer of blue and violet

In the years since I started getting to have a summer break, the kids and I have had a lot of interesting summer themes.  We had the Summer of Waterfalls when we visited over 30 waterfalls in the region, the Summer of Free when we did as many free things as possible all summer and I had a Summer of Beaches when I spent more of my summer on the beach than I did at home.  All good times.

Now that the kids are older, we don’t really plan any sort of summer theme.  They’re not really too cool for it, but as a family, we’re probably a little too busy for it.  They’ve become protective of their limited days “off” and I’ve been busier than ever with art activities and professional development.  This means fewer cool hiking trips or kayaking days.  

Still, I couldn’t have planned a more enjoyable summer than the one we accidentally created this year.

TV

Last year, Violet and I started watching TV together almost every night for an hour.  I do not normally watch TV at all but I knew this was important so I made time for it.  For the entire time we did this, Blue would be upstairs in his room during our TV time.  We would ask him to join us but he had no interest in watching the goofy shows we were into and while he will watch TV occasionally late at night, he rarely watches TV and NEVER watches movies.  

There are no bed times in summer so Violet had more time for TV beginning in June.  This meant we watched a few movies or binged more episodes of our shows.  We caught Blue one night before he went up to his room and invited him to watch a movie with us.  The movie was a silly one I knew he would enjoy called “Cocaine Bear”.  It took some doing, but we got him to watch with us and we all laughed together for an hour and a half.  He told us about some shows we needed to watch and soon we had him watching TV with us most nights.  We watched some good shows but the really wonderful thing about this was all three of us being in the same room every night with nothing in particular to do.  Watching TV in modern times really means having the TV on while you ramble around on your phone or have side conversations about what you’re watching.  This was kind of magical with a rising 9th grader and a rising senior and some nights we even got G to watch with us for a while before her bedtime.  I understand that our family isn’t like a lot of families, but from what I understand, this kind of time together is rare.  This may have been my favorite thing about this summer.

Goodwill

I have always included Blue and Violet in the Summer Studio Sales.  They always get the behind-the-scenes view of what it takes to have a sale in your home, but they also get some experience in thinking of what to make and how to market that to people.  It’s also a way to interact and have things in common.  This year Violet took the knowledge and experience she gained from making bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert and she applied that to making even cooler bracelets for the sale.  This was an activity she could do during TV time each night.  Blue has been into vintage clothing for a while and he decided he was going to try to sell vintage and pre-loved clothing at the sale.  This meant we all took a lot of trips to Goodwill stores together and separately.  Some days the three of us would load up and head to Goodwill as a destination.  Some days we’d try to find one in whatever city or town we were near.  Each trip was a group effort when it came to looking for cool stuff.  Violet, honestly, shopped for herself mostly, but occasionally offered a great find to Blue for his collection.  I was also shopping for myself in the tshirt section, but even I found a few things Blue deemed cool enough for his racks.  We even made a trip to Greenwood mostly just to let him look through the big Goodwill there.  When we arrived, the store was repainting walls and they had removed all of the tshirts.  What a bummer.  We did go back a few days later which provided more time with Blue and Violet.

Running

In 8th grade Blue made the choice to join the Cross Country team.  He hated running with a passion but he fell in love with the team.  Last year he decided there was nothing worth running and training in the summer heat and he dropped out of the team.  He still did discus and shotput at Track and Field, but he claimed he’d never run again.  Meanwhile, Violet kept running and kept getting faster.  She ran Track again last season and really only took a few weeks off from training between the end of Track and the beginning of summer conditioning for Cross Country.  

I go to Cross Country practice during the summer and when I’m not at school during the season and I always run with the team when I’m there.  I enjoy running and I like getting the extra miles and running in different places.  When both kids started Cross Country, I ran with them so they wouldn’t be alone or unsafe in public places.  Because I’m a dad, it was hard to keep my mouth shut when I didn’t think they were running fast enough or trying hard enough.  Both kids helped me learn to shut up and run.  They ran better when I was some distance away and not saying anything.  Apparently my kids are stubborn and don’t like people telling them what to do.  No idea where that kind of trait comes from.

Finally understanding this, I didn’t say much to Blue about coming back to run for his senior year.  Other Cross Country parents would mention it when they saw him and he would dismiss their comments with humor.  He was going to the gym regularly and I knew he sometimes did some treadmill work there.  This summer I overheard him talking about the possibility of running.  I was hopeful but I tried not to say anything.  One evening I turned into the driveway and saw someone running on my trail.  It was Blue.  I pretended not to see and tried to mind my business.  Soon he was having more regular conversations about when he thought he might rejoin the team…as if it was just a thing that had been decided and everyone knew about it.  

He's smart.  He hates summer running and he planned his return to be as late as possible without missing camp and still hopefully having enough time to train to make the team’s maximum 5K time.  I told him I was thrilled that he had decided to run again but there’s no way I adequately communicated exactly how thrilled I am.  

The last half of summer included long drives to Cross Country practice three or four days each week with both Blue and Violet.  The 30 minute commute provided lots of extra conversation time them.  And I got to run with them!  At a comfortable distance, of course, and with my mouth shut as much as possible.  It was great.

Near Death Experience

Trauma bonding is fun.  The kids might say that our commutes to and from Cross Country practice had more to do with Stockholm Syndrome than spending quality family time together, but either way, I’ll take it.  We had some funny talks on those drives but sometimes we just listened to music or they scrolled while I drove.  

This week we loaded ourselves in the FJ for a longer than usual drive to a more distant running trail for Cross Country practice.  We knew storms were predicted but it was sunny and calm at home so we drove north.  About 20 miles up the interstate the sky had darkened considerably.  There was no wind or rain but it was really dark.  This was a quiet time in the car.  Violet was watching something with headphones in.  Blue had addressed the darkness of the sky but was quietly scrolling on his phone.  Then there was a white flash, an immediate CRACK sound and wind like it came from a shockwave.  It looked and sounded like we exploded.  I looked in the rear view mirror and every car and truck behind us had slowed down and put on their hazard lights.  We were shocked.  Well not literally but something had definitely happened.  

The kids never want to miss a practice but Blue’s first words were, “we’re going home”.  Ok, maybe not his FIRST words, but definitely his third, fourth and fifth words.  I asked what the heck just happened and continued to slow down.  The wind was strong now and rain had started.  Everyone behind us still had their hazard lights on and were creeping along.  We were at an exit so I pulled off and headed for the closest gas station.  Blue and I got out and glanced at the exterior of the car.  Everything looked fine.  We were even more puzzled.  We figured if we got hit by lightning, we’d be dead or the car would at least be scorched.  In the couple of seconds we were out of the car looking, there were maybe three lightning strikes nearby and the gas station’s power went out.  We jumped back in the car.  Blue said again that we were going home.  

At that moment Violet got an email from the coach saying that practice was still on.  The timing was perfectly hilarious.  I thought we’d sit there and let the storm pass and then continue on to practice.  The storm would likely be over by the time we got there anyway.  I just couldn’t shake the idea that something had happened, not just near us, but TO us on the interstate.  I got out again and walked to the front of the car.  That’s when I saw that the little metal piece above my windshield was missing.  Gone.  Like, blown off.  How does that happen?  

Blue and Violet got out to see the damage.  The sky was still flashing with lightning so we all jumped back in and decided we were going home.  We briefly entertained the idea of driving back through to see if we could find the missing piece of my car but the storm was now so bad, we just wanted to get back home alive.  

The line of storms had not yet reached our house and we were all still trying to figure out what had happened.  All of us Googled "lighting striking cars" and we all got different information.  Some cars get fried.  Some get the paint scorched off.  Some cars have no damage at all.  We were all amped up as the storm rolled into our territory back home, so we kept recounting what we experienced.  All evidence pointed to us either being hit by lightning or driving directly through a lightning strike.  Either way, my car was maimed and we were all a little freaked out.  

When the storm passed our house, Blue went out for his run to stay on schedule.  I stood on the front porch with hummingbirds zipping all around me watching the sky for lightning while he ran.  The air was rain-cooled and there was a nice breeze.  It was one of those moments where it's easy to be grateful and I suddenly realized I had a wonderful summer.