in the year 2020...

One day in May 2012 I woke up and went for a 3.1 mile run.  The next day I woke up and did it again.  After a few days in a row, I decided I was going to run a 5K every day and see how long I could do it.  6 years and 2 months later I only stopped running after a surgeon cut me open and made me promise I’d take a 6 week break from running.  The day I was released back into the wild, I drove home from the surgeon’s office, put on my running shorts, and ran the 3.1 miles. 

When I decide I’m going to do something, it’s not easy to change my mind.  You could say I’m goal oriented or maybe it’s willpower.  I could easily argue that neither of those is true.  What you see from over there is often very different from what is actually true in here (in my ridiculous head).  Go ahead and put a doughnut in front of me and ask me about willpower. 

Today I’m close to 1 ½ years into my new 5K everyday running streak.  It’s become such an expected thing in my daily routine that from over there where you are, it may seem like running is easy for me.  That maybe I just hop out of bed every morning super excited about going outside in the 5:00 am pitch darkness to run 3.1 miles in the pouring rain while praying I don’t get sprayed by a skunk.  Over here on the inside, the truth is that many days I wake up and don’t want to run.  It’s going to be cold or muddy.  There are dangerous wild animals out there. It’s going to hurt.  My bed is warm and cozy.  The point is, you’re not alone in having those discouraging voices making you feel like it’s too hard to do something.  Every day I have to make myself get up and go out to run.

my running trail view

I mention this during the first week of the new year because I have some things I want to do this year.  They’re not resolutions or even good goals, but they are things I want to strive to accomplish this year.  I’ve decided to share them with you in an attempt to be open and honest about the struggles involved in trying to be a better human.  If you see the struggle and realize that my brain’s arguments about why I should not run are similar to your brain’s arguments about why you shouldn’t run, then maybe there’s room for you to be motivated or inspired.  I mean, I don’t take the time to share running posts on here or on Instagram just so you can know I ran.  Nobody cares.  The point is to show you that you can run too.  To hopefully inspire someone to take a step toward a healthier life.  So let’s have a look at that list. 

-exercise every day

-practice gratitude

-sketch/write in my sketchbook every day

-eat better

-get in exhibits

-read every day

-choose positivity

Exercise every day. 

Of course I plan to continue running every day.  Running is so good for every part of your body, especially your brain.  Mental health, emotional health, and physical health all benefit from regular running.  I’ve discovered that for me, it’s also a good idea to include other exercise into my weekly routine.  I did T25 workouts with Sean T for a couple of years before stumbling across something called PIYO, a combination of pilates and yoga.  It really helped me with stretching and strengthening my ankles, knees, back and abs.  I drive a lot, and I spend a lot of time hunched over a drawing table or a welding table, so PIYO has significantly reduced the number of back aches and spasms. While this is already a part of my week, I got pretty slack about doing PIYO during the fall semester.  I need to get back on the wagon because I know I will feel much better physically.

Practice gratitude. 

This is another thing I was able to incorporate into my daily routine last year.  It helped me so much.  I’ve read countless books, articles, and quotes about how to have a happy and fulfilled life, and every single one advises that you practice daily gratitude.  I’ve got this down to a quick and painless activity. I jot down more than 10 things I’m grateful for while I enjoy my morning coffee.  Coffee almost always makes the list of course. I want to continue that practice and give it even more careful consideration this year.

Sketch/write in my sketchbook every day.

I love to sketch and doodle, so you might think this would be a breeze. But on the busiest of days it seems the last thing I have time to do is to stop, sit, and be quiet with my sketchbook for a few minutes.  I’ve made an effort lately to do this every day, but it’s definitely not a daily habit yet.  Sketching is such a powerful way to record ideas. Writing about the day helps me to process and remember important information.  I want to do a much better job with that this year.

Eat better. 

Some of you are laughing right now.  I know, I deserve that.  I eat a LOT of sweets. At this moment I have 7 different types of sweets sitting on my kitchen counter in the “DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF OR YOU WILL SUFFER” area.  I also have a large bin in the pantry filled to the brim with chocolates and candy bars.  (I may also have no less than 3 assorted chocolate boxes and a couple of 2 pound canisters of chocolate covered almonds in the pantry.) For breakfast I’ve been enjoying Cinnamon Frosted Flakes with my truly decadent morning mocha. That or waffles. If you know me at all you know about all the waffles; my blood type is maple syrup.  But over the last couple of years I’ve started eating vegetables.  I use the word “started” because before that, I ate zero vegetables.  None.  A couple of years ago I gave up soft drinks and then sweet tea. Now, besides my coffee, I only drink water.  I try to avoid fried foods if possible, and in the last year I’ve made a conscious effort to try things I never would have tried before.  Like brussels sprouts.  Who would have thought I’d like those?  Yet somehow I do. I’ve noticed that what I eat is directly tied to how I feel.  I can feel all that ice cream I eat the next morning when I run.  If I eat poorly, I feel sluggish and yucky.  When I eat well, I feel good.  I guess you don’t have to be very smart to figure out that eating better is better for you.  So this year I’m going to refuse more doughnuts and try to lower my intake of sweets while opting for healthier choices. 

Get in exhibits. 

I know this is a terribly stated goal, but you’ll just have to get over it.  As a practicing studio artist, I need to be participating in exhibits each year.  It’s important for many reasons and actually a requirement of my job.  Galleries don’t exactly come to your studio door asking for you to send them your work, so there’s a lot of personal responsibility tied to this one.  I first have to get off my butt and make new drawings and sculptures throughout the year.  Then I have to send my images and information out to people either asking for exhibits through proposals or by entering juried exhibits around the country.  I don’t have a lot of control over people saying yes, but I can play the numbers and just enter shows frequently. 

the academic bookshelf

Read every day.

I keep a book by my bed. While I don’t open it every night, I do make progress through the book each month.  Some nights I barely make it through a page before nodding off.  I’ve been reading books with school and others for fun, which has led to some interesting thoughts and conversations.  Many of the benefits of running are similar to those of reading.  Reading is something I need more of.  Right now, our family is reading through the Bible. We are reading the whole Bible in a year, which requires that we read a chunk of words every day.  Hopefully between that, school readings, and fun books, I’ll be able to read at least a little every day.

Choose positivity.

Negative information streams to us in many ways from global and personal sources.  Just keeping up with current events to stay informed can leave us all feeling a bit overwhelmed at times.  I think it’s a good idea to decide for ourselves what we allow to enter our brains.  If TV news or the feed on the screen you’re holding leaves you feeling hopeless and in despair, maybe it would be a good idea to set some limits on your level of interaction with that media.  If interactions with friends or family members consistently leave you feeling bad about yourself, maybe set some limits on those interactions as well.  When you have a choice, maybe choose to engage with information that will leave you more positive. Garbage in, garbage out, right?  I mean, if the food I eat affects how I feel, surely the influences and input I allow into my life will have a similar impact on my emotional and mental health.  So guarding what goes in is one part.  The other part may even be more difficult and even more important. Guarding what goes out.  In any given situation, I may have no control over what is happening to me, but I can still maintain control over my response to it.  When a negative situation arises, I can choose to call people names and yell and curse, or I can choose positivity.  I’ll admit that sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s a choice, but more of a reflex.  However, it is a choice.  I can choose to show love and compassion to those who offend me.  I can choose to look at the bright side of a situation.  I can choose to be positive and hopeful and in doing so, I can make my life better.  This is a daily struggle because what I want to do is fall into self-pity and anger and stomp around like a child.

wisdom stolen from the internet

None of these will be easy to keep this year.  All of them provide significant challenges and struggles of their own.  I know I will stumble, fall, and fall again.  I will also succeed.  I’ll succeed by getting up, brushing myself off and moving forward again.  And hopefully I’ll actually reach many of these goals and better my life too.  As I fall and as I succeed, I will also share the experiences with you.  I hope to check in a few times this year and give you an update on where I am with each goal.  Maybe you have some goals, resolutions, or changes you want to make this year.  Feel free to share those with me, and let me know how you do.  I can promise you we’ll both be struggling together.

ninjas of kindness

 When I was a kid in the early 1980s, it was a big deal to get candy from a convenience store or ice cream from an ice cream parlor.  My parents both worked hard, and money was tight; it takes a lot of groceries to feed three sons.  Candy bars were $.50, and a Coke was about the same.  An ice cream cone may have been upwards of $2.00.  This seems like chump change to us now, but these were luxury items in my childhood.  When my dad needed something from a store, he would sometimes pause before leaving and ask if my brothers or I wanted to tag along.  We didn’t understand the importance of an invitation like this from a work-a-holic dad.  This was a valuable pause for him.  An invitation to spend time.  I remember many of these quick trips ending with a stop at a convenience store or the Dairy Dreme by Heron Circle.  An edible reward for us going with him.  A small act of kindness.

Origin stories are important.  How and why things begin are so important in the understanding of what something means.  Humans have historically enjoyed creating these stories and passing them down through generations as a way of sharing who we are and what we value. 

Last spring I started to really consider the importance of small acts of kindness.  I experienced some kindness with friends, I watched a docu-series on Netflix called The Kindness Diaries, and I was the recipient of some serious kindness during the summer.  I had many experiences with family, friends, and strangers that showed me how powerful even the smallest acts of kindness can be.  Each of those stories individually could take up an entire blog post.  Each story is important to me, and each one has changed me over the last year.  Each one could be cited as an origin story for The Ninjas of Kindness.

When the academic year began in August, I picked up my weekly coffee talk with a handful of students.  This started with Armir, a long time student, a couple of years ago.  We found sort of accidentally that we had free time on a Thursday morning and started meeting there each week to chat and have fancy coffee.  We kept adding all the art majors who passed by until we had a weekly group of 4-8 people.  These were fun times of laughing and talking, a good way to feel better about starting our full days of studio classes.

A very bright and observant student noted one day that these events were fun, but they were inwardly focused.  They wondered out loud what would happen if we changed that focus by turning it more outward.  Instead of having a coffee club that was at least a little exclusive (to those who had free schedules on Thursday mornings), what would happen if we made that same amount of time about other people?  Even non-art majors.  Maybe we could take that special magic we have in our department and spread it to our campus neighbors. 

And with that question, The Ninjas of Kindness was born.  Each Thursday since that question was asked we’ve gathered in the same spot, still had a quick coffee, but also started doing at least one activity to spread kindness.  The first couple of weeks we huddled up and then spread across campus handing out little slips of paper with inspirational phrases on them.  We handed out candy a couple of weeks.  Another week we wrote kind words on painted rocks and planted them around campus to be found by strangers.  We’ve given high fives in the plaza.  We’ve given hugs.  We’ve given out balloon animals.

But these are all just the activities.  Just the physical, observable part of the Ninjas of Kindness.  I could speculate that what we’ve also done is make people smile on a Thursday morning.  I could argue that we’ve changed the course of someone’s morning, day, or even week.  I could argue we’ve changed someone’s life…just by taking a couple of minutes of free time and thinking outside of ourselves.

 It’s a little like my dad pausing and thinking about us before getting in the truck.  Taking just a moment to bring kindness and joy to someone through a small, selfless act. 

Recently I was asked how the Ninjas of Kindness group started.  I thought about how kindness kept showing up in my life over the last several months.  I thought about how people went out of their way to be kind to me over the summer.  I thought about my mom baking sweets for me, my aunt Laura Jean sending bags of groceries to college with me every weekend, and students sending me thank you notes or small gifts.  I thought about the student suggesting we consider other people, and I thought about my dad walking up to the window, ordering a Humdinger for himself and a chocolate malt for me, silently teaching me how to be kind.

You can watch a video my son Blue created about the Ninjas of Kindness here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiL-GR77_QY&t=3s

or search "doug mcabee" on Youtube and find my bald head in the profile photo.  Follow or subscribe or whatever you do there.

this one is about running

With the start of the new semester came the start of slogging with students after class.  Slogging is “slow-jogging,” and it often alternates between jogging and walking.  There is always lots of talking and laughing mixed in too.  We’ve been doing this for a couple of years now and it’s been a great way to get to know students better or even meet new freshmen.  At the first slog of the semester, Michael, who “slalked” with the group of slow walkers all of last year decided to run with us.  I asked him if he had run in the past, and he said, “Yes.”  I asked if he ran cross country or track, and he responded with, “I ran in elementary school, you know, to the playground.”  Three miles later Michael had completed his first 5K.  His legs were tired, but he was pretty amped up and very proud of himself.

Two weeks later E. Coop showed up and said she was going to run too.  She is a self-proclaimed non-runner, but what the heck?  She hung right in there with us, alternating between running and walking in 95 degree heat and full sun for 2 miles.  When she told us she was heading back to her dorm, she appeared to be dying.  An hour later she posted on social media “So now that I’ve been able to sit, shower, and drink water, I feel more alive.  And I’m a little proud of myself for actually running today.”

If I’m completely honest, I run for selfish reasons.  I love the way I feel after a run.  I love the quiet time in my brain while I run.  I love what running does for my health.  I run to stay in shape and to hopefully stay alive long enough to see my kids grow up.  I run so that I can be healthy enough to enjoy life.  I run so that I can eat doughnuts, waffles, and ice cream.  But somewhere under all that selfishness, I also run for moments like the ones described above.  I love to share something so wonderful - something I truly believe in – with the people around me.  I know how it can help them, and I want them to experience it. 

The last week of July my son Blue joined the Cross Country team at his school.  He was not a runner and had zero desire to run Cross Country.  Basically, he was told he needed to find a school sport he wanted to participate in.  The physical activity and social aspects of team sports are important, and it’s something he’s avoided up until 8^th grade.  So he looked at the practice times and the length of the seasons and decided that Cross Country might be the lesser of all the evils.  Some of you may be thinking his runner dad pressured him into running.  You would be wrong.  I never ran for any team or school and other than running every day and having great running shoes, I know relatively nothing about running.  His first Cross Country practice was also my first Cross Country practice. 

On July 25 Blue ran 1.5 miles in 18 minutes.  On August 20 he ran his first ever 5K in 44:55.  He’s been steadily improving since.  He’s shaved more than 10 minutes off his 5K time, lost about 6 pounds, and has stopped feeling like he’s seriously dying every time he runs. 

To qualify to run with the team in a meet, male runners must run a 5K on a tough course in under 31 minutes.  The last .25 miles of the 5K is up a killer hill.  The kind of hill that leaves you gagging at the top.  And the heat and humidity in the South during August and September is something you have to experience to fully understand. 

Everyone on the team knows exactly how difficult it is to start running.  Some of these kids are running 18 and 19 minute 5Ks.  But there’s something really amazing about runners.  Runners encourage each other.  Everyone probably wants to be the fastest person on the team.  Everyone wants to make All-State and win awards, so there is a level of competition, but even when they’re running in a race you’ll hear these kids encouraging other runners.  I watched a girl pass another runner in the final stretch of a race and she managed to shout “You’re doing great!” to the runner as she passed. 

While his teammates wait for Blue to finish running, they often backtrack on the trail until they meet him and then run with him to get him to the finish line.  On laps they all shout instructions and encouragement to him.  The team parents also do this.  On the days I’m not able to make it to practice, some of the other dads run with him.  It’s so cool. 

Last week during a Saturday morning practice Blue had to run 2 miles and his goal was sub 20 minutes.  We started out strong and he was at the front of the pack, running with the fastest runners.  As we approached the .5 mile mark, the other runners slowly started to pass and move forward.  As each one passed Blue they shouted encouragement telling him what a great start he had.  I stayed with him, just a couple of steps ahead, for the entire time.  I shouted, pushed and encouraged.  I told him his pace and when he needed to pick it up.  The last .5 miles of his run was going to be downhill and he needed to make up some time.  There were several college team runners on the trail doing laps for a long run and as we approached the last .5 mile a group of them were gaining on us.  I urged Blue to run hard, to sprint to the finish.  I told him not to let those guys pass him.  He turned it on and ran as hard as he could.  For that entire stretch I shouted and he pushed.  And then the coolest thing happened.  As the group finally started to overtake him near his finish line, each of them started shouting encouragement to him.  They called him by his name and told him to finish strong, that he could do it, and to not give up.  It was truly wonderful.  Blue finished his two miles in 20:02, just 2 seconds over his goal.  He felt great.

Last night Blue ran the 5K course and hoped to qualify.  During the team time before running, the coach asked the runners to share something they were thankful for.  One of the varsity runners said he was thankful for Blue and that he was working so hard to get better. 

When we started running the 5K Blue didn’t feel like he was going fast enough.  He did well on the first mile but stopped hitting his goals after that.  His legs were tired and felt sluggish.  Every runner knows this feeling well.  He was getting frustrated but still he was close.  Close enough to have hope all the way to the last terrible uphill stretch.  Other runners were on the course, strangers not affiliated with his team or any team.  As they passed each one offered encouragement to Blue.  During the last half mile the male varsity runners from Blue’s team left their practice sprints and backtracked down the trail to find Blue and run him in to the finish line.  They ran with him every step and offered advice and encouragement to the very last step.  They paused to congratulate him on running hard and told him he was doing great before heading back to finish their practice.  Blue didn’t make his qualifying time but shaved another minute off his 5K.  He did great.

Now I can’t stop thinking about the encouragement Blue has been given since he joined the team.  These runners offering words of encouragement and acts of kindness are just regular people  They’re high school and middle school students with normal lives and stresses of their own.  But when they encourage someone they become extraordinary.  They literally change another person’s life. 

I can’t help but wonder what it would look like if I lived my life like those runners.  What would it look like if you metaphorically stopped your regular practice and backtracked to meet a frustrated soul where they were and ran with them to the finish?  What would it look like if I encouraged strangers with kind words and deeds that literally changed their lives? 

I want to find out.